Old Habits Die Hard
by Starring Piper
Summary: Piper reverts to some of her teenage ways of dealing with tough problems. Part of the Trust series. Complete
1. The Fight

A/N: Well, you all seemed to like the last chapter of Starting Over! I thought that you all would like that little surprise. Here's the next story…the first chapter doesn't have much Piper in it, but it need it to warm up to wher I'm going. Don't worry. This story is Piper-centric too. On with the story! Oh, wait, Charmed and all of it's characters do not belong to me, they are the property of Constance M. Burge and the WB. Once again, this goes for the whole story, so I won't be saying it again.

Wannabpiper: I'm sorry that the last chapter  confused you. Cliff notes version: Cole lost almost all memory of what he did when he was the Source. Leo is actually alive, but no one knows it. Hope that clears things up!

Charmed Writer: Thank you for another wonderful review…I'm glad you liked the last chapter so much! I hope that you like this story too…there will be lots of grief in it! 

Prue paced grumpily around the house, slamming this around with her powers. It had been over a month since Piper had told Paige and Phoebe the truth about what had happened to her, and the elders had still given her no news about when-or whether-they were going to send her back. It wasn't that Prue wanted to be sent back, she wanted to stay here with her sisters more than anything. But she wanted to _know. _The not knowing was killing her. In the month that things between the sisters had begun to go smoothly again, Prue slowly began to slide herself back into the world of the living. She had gotten her old job back at 411-though no one there knew, of course, who she really was-and she had even started dating again. For all appearances, she seemed to have completely regained a normal life, at least normal for the charmed ones. But the not knowing of whether and when she could be ripped from her family kept Prue from ever really begin able to relax into life again. After all, she could just have to give it all up again, and that would be hard. It was hard enough the first time around; Prue was really worried about having to do it again. The other thing that kept Prue from enjoying life on earth was Piper.  Truth be told, Piper wasn't doing very well at all lately. After she had gotten close to her sisters, it had seemed as though she was improving by leaps and bounds. But then, her anniversary rolled around, had Piper had sunk back into a deep depression that no one seemed able to get her out of, a depression that was worrying Prue, well all of the sisters for that matter, sick. Suddenly, Prue heard the front door slam, and Paige and Phoebe entered the house. 

"It's about time." Prue muttered to herself, and went to join her late -very late- sisters. After entering the kitchen, Prue leaned against the counter, tapping one foot against the floor. Moments later, Phoebe came skidding into the room.

"Oh my god Prue I am soooo sorry." She said breathlessly. "I know that you needed the car back, but I completely forgot about it, and we went shopping in china town, and then when I finally remembered it was already half an hour after I was supposed to get the car back, and then we got stuck in terrible traffic…" Phoebe's voice trailed off, as she dared a look at Prue's face.

"I'm not going to get out of this one that easily, am I." Phoebe said, trying to joke. It didn't work. Prue found her self furious-irrationally furious, really-with this whole situation. When she finally spoke, her anger blazed in her words.

"How irresponsible can you possibly get?" Prue hissed. "The only reason that I let you even _have _the car was because you promised me that you could get it back in time."

"I know, Prue, and I really am sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't cut it right now Phoebe. It's not like I wanted the car so that I could go shopping or something. I needed it to get to work! A job that, in case you hadn't noticed we kind of need me to have! I thought that maybe you had grown up in the past few years, but obviously, you are the same irresponsible, self-absorbed, unthinking, person that you always have been!" Prue's voice had been raising higher and higher in pitch, and she sounded almost hysterical as she screamed at Phoebe. Suddenly, it all became too much for her, and Prue snapped, bursting into tears, and sinking to the floor. Phoebe walked over to her, concerned, and wrapped her arm around Prue's shoulder. 

"I'm so sorry Phoebe, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean any of it, I am so so sorry…"

"Shhhhhh…." Phoebe told her, and gently rocked Prue back and forth. "It's okay sweetie. Just let it all out. Let it all out." Momentarily, Prue's sobs quieted, but she stayed huddled in the safety of Phoebe's embrace.

"Now," Phoebe asked her, "do you want to tell me what's bothering you?" Prue shuddered slightly.

"I've just been so…tense lately. Piper had been getting worse and worse, and it hurts me and scares me so badly to watch her like this. She was so horrible today, would't eat anything, wouldn't even drink, she wouldn't even get out of bed, but she wasn't sleeping there, I could tell that she hasn't slept in days. There are times when I just want to shake her and tell her to get a grip, and try harder but I can't! No matter what happens, I can't yell, at her, because of what she might do. So I just have to suppress it all, and sometimes it gets out, and I shouldn't have let it out on you, but I can't let Piper know how angry I get I can't I can't I can't…" Prue's voice was starting to raise hysterically again, so Phoebe hushed her, rocking her back and forth once more, until Prue quieted again. After some time, they both got up, and walked out of the kitchen, arms around each other's shoulders.

Up on the landing, Piper crouched, frozen, and the top of the stairs. Look at what she was doing to her family! She didn't want to cause them any hurt…she would do anything to keep that from happening. Which meant that she only had one solution. She couldn't let them know what she was going through. No matter what happened, she could not let them know how much pain she was in. She would just have to find new ways of dealing, that's all. But she couldn't let them suffer like this. No matter what.


	2. Remembrance

A/N: Well, here is chapter two! It is very Piper, just like I promised…and pretty dark.  Hope that you all like it…I'll try to get the next chap up soon! Oh, and once more, I want to thank all of my loyal reviewers. So many of you have been with me from the beginning that I am absolutely amazed. Thank you so much for all of your support!!!!!!!!

Charmed Writer: Here it is! After all that writer's block, I finally have something to show for it. I don't like this chapter very much, but hopefully that's just me. I hope that you like it more than I do!!! Hope to be hearing from you about your story soon… ;)        

Piper stood in the kitchen, methodically chopping vegetables for dinner. She had been slaving away in the kitchen all morning, trying to make the perfect meal for the sister night Piper had planned for that night. She hadn't mentioned it to her sisters yet, but Piper really needed to be with them right now. Things had been hard for her lately. Really hard. Ever since Piper had seen Prue break down, she had been very careful to hide just how much pain she was in. Maybe she would tell them tonight…but even if she didn't, at least she would be able to be with them. She hadn't gotten to do that a whole lot lately. And that hurt. Bad.

 Piper sighed, thing about it. Ever since that day, Piper had been trying hard to be more cheerful. Honestly she had been. But it wasn't working very well. At the beginning, Piper had even tried to make herself eat more, for Prue's sake. Unfortunately, that hadn't lasted very long. She just couldn't force herself to keep anything down. Food just nauseated her. So for now, Piper just pretended to eat more in front of her sisters, while in actuality she was eating less than ever. She had started taking heavy sleeping pills at night, to knock her out and keep her from waking up in the night screaming from nightmares. The sleeping pills kept her asleep all right, but they didn't make the nightmare's go away. Instead, they just turned into a hell that she couldn't escape from until the pills wore off in the morning and allowed her to wake up, even less rested than she had been before falling asleep. Yet, despite how much she hated the pills, Piper continued to take them. At least that way her sisters' could get a good nights' sleep without hearing her scream.

 Piper would have given anything for one night without the dreams. Talking about them to Paige had helped, but Piper didn't want to risk hurting Paige the way that she had hurt Prue, so she kept it all bottled up inside, and didn't let anyone know how she was actually feeling. It made her feel so desperate though. Once she had stopped turning to her sisters for support, they seemed to stop paying attention to her. Why didn't they see how much she needed them? Sure, she was trying to hide it from them, but Piper knew that she wasn't that good of an actress. So if they didn't notice it must be because they didn't want to notice. They didn't care.

            Slowly, one tear began to roll down Piper's cheek. The depression was taking hold of her again, pulling her back into the dark place that she had struggled so long and hard to leave.  Unfortunately, Piper didn't recognize the warning signals. She just kept on chopping the vegetables, and slightly rocked herself back and forth. Suddenly, Piper's hand slipped and the knife she was holding sliced her arm. Piper started at the blood pouring from the cut, mesmerized. The stinging pain from it kept her enthralled. She had forgotten how good that kind of pain could feel. How the physical pain took her mind off of the emotional pain that she was in, almost took her mind off of it. When she felt the blood run down her arm, it seemed to take her to a whole new dimension, one where the only thing that existed was the pain shooting down her arm. Just then the front door slammed, and talking filled the hall. Piper jumped, and her mind flew back into the real world. 

            "Shit!" she swore under her breath, really noticing the cut on her arm for the first time. She ran a towel under the sink, and hurriedly pressed it to her arm. _What was that all about?_ She wondered fearfully. _I don't think like that anymore…I'm over those feelings. I only did stuff like that when I was in high school. So why am I thinking about it again? What's wrong with me? I must be really tired or something…that's all…I'm not slipping again…am I? No, of course I'm not. I was just tired. It won't happen again. I won't let it happen again." _ Piper removed the towel from her arm and rolled down her sleeve, hiding the traitorous cut from sight. She walked out of the kitchen slowly, and forced her self to smile at her sisters, who were still standing in the hall. 

            "Piper!" Phoebe said in her baby voice, as she threw her arms around her sister. "We missed you!" Piper tried to make herself laugh, but it was fake, and unnatural. Still, her sisters didn't seem to notice, and went on talking excitedly.

            "You really missed out on shopping today." Paige told her. Piper smiled distractedly, her mind still on earlier events.

            "Yeah, I was cooking. Wanted to make a good dinner for the sister night I though we could have tonight!" Upon hearing this, the other three started to shift, nervously.

            "Actually, Piper…" they said, almost in unison. Piper's face fell.

            "I take it that means that you all already have plans for tonight?" They looked down at the floor, almost sheepishly, and Piper sighed to herself. Nonetheless, she forced herself to smile again, the expression starting to feel as though it had been plastered onto her face.

            "What are you guys doing?" Piper tried to sound interested and cheerful, although inside she wanted to scream at them to cancel, scream at them how much she needed them, how scared she was of herself right now. Instead, she had to content herself with smiling and nodding, and revealing nothing.

            "Work."

            "Cole."

            "Date." Prue, Phoebe, and Paige replied. Piper nodded, and blinked hard. She couldn't cry. She had no right to cry. If she had wanted to do this she should have made plans.

            "I guess we'll just have to do this another time then. Maybe next weekend?" Piper tried to force cheer into her voice, but she saw that her sisters looked slightly suspicious.

            "Piper, I can always change my date with Cole to another time…"Phoebe offered, looking concerned. Piper shook her head.

            "No, don't be silly. It's not like you're backing out of plans we already made. I should have checked ahead with you guys, made sure you were free instead of springing this on you like this. Like I said, we can just do this another time."

            "Next weekend works for me." Prue said, squeezing Piper's hand. Paige and Phoebe nodded their heads. Piper nodded, still smiling.

            "Well, I think that I'm going to go take a nap. If you guys aren't going to be here tonight, then I'll probably work late at the club, so I should get some rest. " She told her sisters. "I'll talk to you guys later though, ok? Have fun tonight." They nodded, and Piper headed up the stairs. As soon as she was out of her sisters' sight, the tears began to flow down her face. She needed them so much right now…why couldn't they see that? They didn't even have time for her anymore. _I'm so scared that I'm slipping, and I can't get up without their help_. Piper thought desperately. She slipped under her covers and lay huddled in bed, trying to calm herself enough to sleep. If I cut myself, I would calm down. It wouldn't have to be a big or dangerous cut, it would be nothing really. Just something to take my mind off this, make me relax…maybe it could even put me to…NO!!!! Damn it, I can't think like that! I can't do that anymore! Piper forcibly wrenched her mind away from those thoughts, and finally, after what felt like hours of lying shaking in bed, she started to doze off. But as she finally slipped into dreamland, her last thoughts were of the feelings of release she had felt from the cutting. 


	3. Noticing

A/N: Hey guys, its here…did I grab your attention with that last chap? I hope you like this one too…I'm using the whole extra senses thingy they did on the show, but I'm kinda giving it my own little twist. (I think) Anyways, I hope that you all like it! 

Charmed Writer/twin: Well, you already saw about half of this chapter…I just hope that you like the other half too. You know that without the support and encouragement and musing (I don't think that is really a word but you know what I mean) this story would not be here. Everyone has you to thank for this chapter (actually, for this whole story,) so everyone say thank you Charmed Writer!!!!!!!!!1

Piper rubbed her temples as she stood behind the counter at P3. She had gone to work that night like she had said she was going to, in hopes that it would make her feel a little more clearheaded.  So far, it wasn't working. All she could think about was what had happened earlier that morning. Her mind buzzed, what was wrong with her? Why was she feeling like this again? _I thought I was better, she thought desperately. Obviously, however, she wasn't. The walls seemed to spin around her, and Piper clutched the edge of the counter for support. __I need to get out of here. There's just to many people…I can't breathe. Still dizzy, she slowly wove her way through the throngs of people. Arriving at the office door, Piper let herself in, closing and locking the door firmly behind her. Once the door was secure, she leaned against the wall, and allowed herself to sink to the floor. __Where are my sisters? She wondered. __Why can't they sense this? I've been able to sense their moods and feelings and needs for ages now…How can they no t do the same? They have to be able to feel this too…how could they not? Piper shook slightly as her inferiority disorder took over. __Of course they can feel this, she told herself. __They just don't care. They think that you are a burden on them…you heard Prue say so yourself. You area burden to them. They just want to be rid of you. _

            "Stop it stop it stop it!" Piper screamed suddenly, and flung a glass across the room, causing it to smash against the opposite wall. Her body shook with sobs, all she wanted was for someone to come and take away the pain. _But you don't need someone else. The voice in her head told her. _You can take away all of the pain yourself. All it takes is one little cut. It's not like it seriously hurts anyone…just one small cut, in a place where no one can even see it. People hurt themselves worse than that all the time, just from walking down the street. So how is it so bad? And it takes away all of this…it would make me full so much better_. Piper slowly picked up a knife from the table next to her, and turned it slowly in her hands. Rolling up her sleeve, she lay the knife against her arm. She was steady now, no onger shaking. The pain was about to go away, at least momentarily. It would all go away…mind already on the emotional freedom she would gain from this cut, Piper firmly pressed the cool steel into her arm.  _

            Prue rolled her head around her neck, wincing slightly at the tightness in her muscles.  She was working in the darkroom in their basement, developing pictures for the upcoming issue of 411. She enjoyed having her old job back, even though they couldn't recognize her as the same Prue as before. But as much as she enjoyed having her job back, she had forgotten how hard the hours of crouching over pictures in the dark room could be on her neck and back. She also was feeling a little guilty about skipping out on Piper's sister night. True, Piper hadn't planned it in advance, but still. Piper had obviously worked hard on getting a nice surprise ready for  them, and no one had stayed around. Prue didn't have to be working right now, the pictures weren't due for a few more days. She had just wanted to get ahead. But she should have done something with Piper. She had been a lot more cheerful lately, but that didn't mean that they should just start ignoring her…suddenly, Prue heard a voice in her head. _So how is it so bad? And it takes away all of this…it would make me full so much better. Prue shook her head, wondering what that was all about. The voice sounded familiar, so familiar. But the way she heard it in her head like that also seemed to distort it somewhat…it had sounded rather dim and faded, as though it had traveled a long way to reach her and as a result was rather faint. Prue shrugged again. It was probably nothing. She was probably just remembering a line from a movie, or from a dream that she had…that must be why it sounded so familiar. Brushing off the feeling that she was missing something really important here, Prue went back to work. _

                _She stood in the little room, pressing the knife deeper and deeper into her already cut skin Blook slowly dripped down her arm, and she stared at it fascinated. But at the same time it was a horrifying sight, the sight of that self-inflicted wound was so wrong that she started to scream…_

Phoebe say bolt upright in the bed, still screaming. Cole blinked sleapily and sat up next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

            "What's the matter Phoebe? Was it a dream?" With the help of several deep breaths Phoebe managed to stop screaming, although she was still shaking slightly. 

            "Yeah, it must have been that. IT felt to so real though…"

            "You want to tell  me about it?" 

            "No, its not really a big deal. It's just that the feeling of te dream felt so familiar…and not like a normal dream. But like a kind of dream I've had before, so real and vivid…but I can't remember when I had a dream like that before." Phoebe shook her head, frustrated. "My  memory must be down in the gutter at the moment." She joked, trying to make light of the situation. 

            "You sure that you don't want to talk about it?" Phoebe nodded.

            "Positive. Besides, I can think of some better ways that we could spend our time…" smiling at him, she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.  Cole grinned back at her.

            "My my. Would you be thinking what I am thinking?"

            "Oh, I think I am." Phoebe purred. Ignoring the tugs her conscience was giving her to examine the dream more closely, Phoebe leaned into Cole's kiss, shutting out the rest of the world.

            Paige laughed at Eric's joke and leaned in a little closer across the table. 

            "That is absolutely hilarious. What did he do?"

            "To tell you the truth, I don't really know. I got the hell out of there so fast the poor guy didn't even have the chance to draw a breath!" The two laughed again, and Paige took a sip of her diet coke. Eric was a great guy, this was her third date with him and things were going really well. He was so smart, so funny…and damn, was he hot. Paige giggled slightly. She just hoped that things would continue to go well…she hadn't had a nice long serious relationship with a guy in a while. They continued to talk and joke around when suddenly Paige gasped. The room spun, she felt as though she had just been hit with a ball of raw emotion. Primarily it was pain-emotional pain. Extreme loneliness, loss, desperation, and something else…underneath it all, there was a strain of terror. Paige fell to her knees, she could hear nothing but the sound of her heart beating in her head. Her surroundings seemed distant and distorted, everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. She could vaguely hear Eric calling her as he rose and hurried over to her on the floor, but his voice sounded long and drained out, and although she knew he was hurrying, he looked as though he were moving through molasses. The pain continued to course through her, an unbelievable sadness that could be conquered only by…and then, before she could grasp what it was that would make the pain stop Eric was next to her, shaking her, and Paige went back to normal as abruptly as she had had the fit in the first place. 

            "All you alright?" Eric asked her. "That looked really scary there…what just happened?" Paige shook her head.

            "I'm perfectly fine now, I don't feel bad at all…but I'm not sure what that was all about. It was…weird." Weird was an understatement, it actually seemed like the sort of thing that she should go home and talk to her sisters about, maybe look for answers in the Book, but she pushed those thoughts away. There was no way she was letting this little event spoil the evening…she really wanted thing with Eric to go well. 

            "Maybe I should take you home. Let your sisters take care of you…"

            "No!" Paige said, then smiled, trying to soften her sharp defense.  "I mean…I'm fine now. And I'm really not ready to go home quite yet…I'm having fun with you." Eric looked at her, obviously conflicted.

            "I don't want the evening to end either but…tell you what, why don't we go back to my place, and you can sit on the couch and relax while I pamper you to your hearts content. Any takers?" Paige gave him her best sultry smile. 

            "Sounds great. I'll just run to the restroom and I'll be ready to go." There was something in her telling her that she really needed to find the source of what had come over her, but Paige ignored it. After all, how bad could it be?


	4. Realizing

                A/N: Look at all you lucky people! One chapter right after the other! I think I may be spoiling you here…other than that, nothing extra to say for this chap, since I am posting it at the same time as the last one.

Charmed Writer: I made another reference to us in this chap…see if you can find it! (actually on second thought, I forget whether it is in this chap or the second half of the last chap-the half you haven't read yet. You'll have to let me know ;) ;) )

A week had gone by since Piper had first started cutting again, and she hadn't been able to stop. Instead, it was sucking her in more and more, so she was starting to make bigger and more frequent cuts. Her sisters still didn't seem to notice that anything was wrong. Piper shook her head as she sat on the couch. She was tired all of the time lately. This was literally draining all of her energy away…Piper had been experiencing some rather severe blood loss lately. Not enough to put her in the hospital, but enough so that she was constantly exhausted. Of course, the exhaustion could also very easily be a result of no sleeping, which she was also guilty of. She just couldn't go to sleep without seeing a picture of her husbands face, contorted in pain as she killed him. 

            "But I didn't kill him." Piper whispered. "Paige said so. The Source did…it wasn't my fault." Another part of her mind scoffed at this. Of course you killed him_. Even if you didn't actually shoot the arrow, you were still the one responsible for his death. None of this would have happened if it weren't for you. A tear slid down Piper's cheek. Just then, Phoebe waltzed into the house, laughing at something. She was leaning against Cole's side, his arm was wrapped around her shoulder. They had been inseparable lately…Phoebe seemed to have completely forgiven him. Which is what Piper had though she wanted…but she hadn't realized just how hard it would be on her to see Cole and her little sister together all of the time. She still couldn't see him without flinching, though she had learned how to hide those flinches so that she wouldn't hurt Phoebe. And flinching happened when she saw him coming. If he walked into a room that she was in and said something to her, she screamed more often than not. Oh, she got herself under control soon enough, but there were still those first moments of terror when she was pulled back into the past, thinking that he was going to hurt her again. And if he happened to touch her…well, then that would practically send Piper into full cardiac arrest. So Cole had learned always to make his entrances as obvious as possible, and never to touch her. And Piper had learned how to hide most of her reactions to his presence, so that no one would catch on. It wasn't a fool-proof system, but it worked relatively well. They both had one goal in mind after all-protecting Phoebe. _

            Now, Piper did her best to hide her involuntary flinch as Cole entered, and Cole carefully turned Phoebe's attention even more toward him, so that Piper could have a chance to compose herself. By the time Phoebe had turned to face her, Piper had hidden the quick spark of terror, and plastered a fake smile onto her face. Phoebe smiled back at her sister, and entered the room Piper was in.

            "Hey!" She said cheerfully. "I was wondering if Cole could come have lunch with us? I didn't think you'd mind, so I already invited him…"

            "But if it's a problem, I can just go home." Cole broke in quickly. Piper had to work even harder to keep the smile on her face."

            "No, of courses not. No problem whatsoever." Of course, she did have a problem. Every minute she spent in Cole's presence was stressful for her, made her cringe in agony. She couldn't see his face, hear his voice, look at his, anything, without having flashbacks to when he was…raping her. Piper hated herself for this. After all, she had been the one who had made such a big deal about how Cole was not the one who had done all of those things, and how he shouldn't be blamed. She believed all of that too…she knew it wasn't his fault, that he wasn't really the one who had done all those things. But still, knowing and feeling are two different things, and she couldn't help but feel terrified around him. Even if she knew better. She had a feeling that Cole sensed this somewhat, either that or he was almost as uncomfortable around her as she was around him, because he was always coming up with reasons not to join in group activities where she would be present, or go on outings with Phoebe where she was present too. Between the two of them avoiding each other, Piper really didn't have to see Cole all that much, but it was still hard. Now, Piper pushed all of these thoughts out of her head and smiled at her sister. 

            "Where were you guys thinking of going?" she asked, trying to sound at least mildly excited. "Any place in particular?" Phoebe and Cole both shook their heads. 

            "No, nowhere in particular." Phoebe replied. "That new Chinese place they have downtown looks kinda good though," she offered, looking at Piper and Cole. Both nodded, neither looked at the other. 

            "Sounds great." Piper told her. "Let me just run upstairs and get on some nicer clothes, I'll be down in a minute." Phoebe nodded, and sat down on the couch with Cole to wait. Piper hurried away from the site of their cuddling, rushing to the sanctuary of her room. She really didn't want to do this right now. I whole lunch trying to come up with meaningless chitchat at the same time she would be trying desperately to keep herself from…snapping, or something? It did not sound like a good idea. Piper had been chewing on her finger in nervousness, and suddenly looked down, surprised to see that she had been biting down practically to the bone. She looked at it clinically, surprised. It was starting to throb now slightly, a deep ache that resonated within her. The blood welled up, and few drops spilled over. Piper probably would have sat there, continuing to stare at it, for another hour, if Phoebe hadn't called up to her just then. 

            "Piper, we should probably get going? Are you ready?" Piper quickly got up off the bed, and began hustling around her room, holding her finger very still in front of her so that she didn't get blood everywhere.

            "Yeah, just about…I'll be right there, I promise!" Piper called back down. Piper went into the bathroom to brush her teeth, and stuck a band-aid on the finger. She pulled on a new shirt with her jeans, quickly ran a brush through her hair, and grabbed her jacket off of the bed. Hurrying down the stairs, Piper prayed that the afternoon wouldn't turn out too terribly.

            Unfortunately, it did. Piper spent the whole meal trying to hide her shaking, she didn't eat anything. She just felt like any minute now Cole was going to reach across the table and grab her, and…and even besides the whole terror thing, it would have been hard for Piper to have any sort of a good time. It was so hard for her to see happy couples together. She was glad for Phoebe of course, and she would do anything to ensure that her little sister didn't  have to go through the pain that she had gone through, but still…well, it was hard, that's all. She wanted Leo so badly, and times like this made the longing even more excruciating. Under the table, Piper started rubbing her wounded finger, focusing on the pain it was causing her. It made her a little out of it, a bit unable to pay attention the conversation, but hey, she didn't really want to hear what they were saying anyway. She just wanted this lunch to end, so that she could go home and cry without having to worry about anyone seeing her. She was so tired…suddenly, looking at her little sister, Piper realized that she wasn't the only one who was tired around her. Phoebe was slightly paler than usual, and there were tiny little dark circles under her eyes. It was nothing big, and Phoebe didn't really look sick or anything. Just mildly tired. It was the sort of thing that no one would even notice unless they were really really close to the person. Piper, of course, was really close to Phoebe, so even though the fatigue looked minor, she was still worried. 

            "What's the matter honey?" She asked Phoebe, looking concerned. Phoebe smiled at her, and shook her head.

            "The matter? Nothings the matter. I'm fine." Her tone was slightly forced, a fact that Piper immediately picked up on, of course.  She could feel the slight strain in her sisters body, feel her sisters worry. And of course, she could hear Phoebe's thoughts as well, so she relied on those rather than Phoebe's words to tell her what was wrong. 

            "You've been having bad dreams?" She asked, suddenly even more worried. Phoebe started, and looked at her in surprise. 

            "Wh-how did you?"

            "Never mind. Now what's going on? And don't tell me nothing, because I can tell that this is bugging you." Phoebe sighed.

            "It really isn'ta big deal. Like you-somehow-know, I've been having these weird dreams lately. They're always about a woman, and they're always depressing. Usually the woman is hurting herself in some way, but not always. The dreams seem to be a lot more clear when she is hurting herself though, or when she is in a lot of pain for some reason. It seems like the less angsty the woman seems, the more fuzzy the dream is." Piper had completely frozen. So they were starting to experience it too, starting to notice the connection between them that Piper had been able to feel for awhile. _It made sense that the first way Phoebe would notice it is through site, since she has the power of premonitions. Piper thought. I'm just glad that I'm talking to her about all of this before she connects what she is sensing to me_. I better do something to lead her off track, it'll be too much stress for her if she finds out the truth_. Phoebe was still talking, seemingly unaware of what Piper had just realized. _

                             "It seems almost as though I am looking out of the woman's eyes. I can see everything that she sees, but I definitly am not the woman in the dream. I have a whole separate conscience…I never feel what she is feeling, or hear what she is thinking. I just see what she is doing. I can never stop her, just…watch her. I've been having the dream pretty much every night lately…so I haven't exactly been getting much sleep. That's why I am kinda tired." Piper exhaled slowly, careful not to reveal on her face that she knew the origins of what she was feeling. It was lucky for her that she was here with Phoebe and not Paige or Prue…because if Phoebe was starting to notice it, then they would be too. _If Phoebe has the ability to see, then that leaves feeling and hearing for Paige and Prue. Either one of those would make it easy for them to detect me…so it's a good thing that I'm not here with either of them_. Piper sighed, thinking of how hard things were going to get for her if she still wanted to keep things hidden from her sisters. A part of her didn't want to…she really wanted their support…but the dominant part of her did want to keep it from them, wanted to protect them from hurt. _I wonder which one of the other two has what?_ Piper mused_. I bet Paige has the emotion one. She is half whitelighter, so it would make sense. And Prue always knew what Phoebe and I were planning as kids, so it also makes sense that she would be the one to hear thoughts. I'll have to be careful to watch my thoughts around her…if that's possible. It'll be hardest around Paige. So far I've found a way to hide my emotions from them, but they are still in me. It won't take long before she senses that. Jerking her mind away from all of these thoughts and back to the present, Piper turned her attention back to Phoebe. _

                             "It doesn't sound like you are just having regular dreams, but I can't imagine what they could be. I'll look in the Book and see if I can find anything that could help. In the meantime, tell me whenever you have one of the dreams." Phoebe nodded. No problem. But one more thing…do you think that I should tell Prue and Paige? They seem to have enough going on for them as it is…" Piper nodded in agreement, relieved that it was Phoebe who made the suggestion to keep this from her other sisters, so that she didn't have to."

                             "I think that's probably a good idea. Anyways, we can always tell them later if we need to." Just then, the waiter walked up with their check. Piper paid, ignoring Phoebe's protests. Hugging her sister goodbye, and nodding at her husband in-law Piper left the restaurant and headed home. Cole and Phoebe were planning on going back to his house. Once she was home, she sank down in a chair. Things would really start to get hectic now.  


	5. Uh Oh

Hey look, I made a kinda long chapter! Aren't you all so very proud of me? Hehe…I worked hard on it two, so you better be grateful! Oh, and I've never done this before, but I decided to start the chap with some song lyrics…me likes em and they seemed to fit. Don't forget to press the hypnotizing purple button at the bottom when you are done reading…it makes me very happy! (yes, I am hyper right now. You don't need to comment.

 Twin: I missed you today!!!!!!!! My mom wouldn't let me go on the comp at all because she wanted me to study for french. Actually, I should really say that I missed you yesterday, because at the time that you read this, that is when it will be. The chap that I told you about will be coming up soon…and there is a twin reference in this chap two! Hopes you likes it! 

Twin P.S.: Nooooooo!!!!!!!!!! You left!!!!! And I didn't gets to says goodbyes!!!!!!!!!! Well, this chap is for you…I'm sending it to you via snail mail. You will probably have a comp again by the time it gets to you, but…oh well. It has been like three days since we last talked…I need to talk to you! You aren't responding in my head yet…damn it, telepathy is going to work! Or I'm going to know why! *looks threateningly at telepathy*** ***realizes that telepathy is laughing at inability to look threatening***** I hope that your dad gets a computer, or something…I wanna talk to ya!!!! *is selfish* well, maybe I'll see ya in the gutter tonight…I hope. If not, then say hi to Silly for me! 

And I'm injured again It's sick and I'm sucked in 

_Yeah I'm at it again_

_It's sick and I'm sucked in, it's sick and I'm sucked in_

_And it drops me, drops me down_

_And I'm not feeling so good again_

_Yeah it drops me, drops me down_

And I'm not feeling so good again 

            Piper sat curled up on one of the little couches in P3, trying to fight the wave of intense dizziness that flowed through her. The cutting had been getting more and more out of control lately. She had lost enough blood so that she had passed out in the kitchen two days ago, and in the bathroom again this morning. Her cuts were starting to get so deep, and she had been letting them go longer and longer before stopping the blood flow…but she couldn't seem to make herself stop. And the exhaustion that she felt all of the time due to blood loss was even worse when coupled with the fact that she literally hadn't eaten anything in a week…that alone would probably be enough to make her pass out, Piper realized. She had been lucky, the two times that she had passed out so far, and hadn't hit her head very hard either time, and her sisters hadn't been home either time either, so they didn't have to worry but…Piper was now starting to think that maybe it would be better to worry them. After all, when this had happened the first time, hadn't Prue made her promise…? Besides, considering the amount of blood loss that she had suffered lately, Piper was beginning to have a nagging worry that she jsut might need a transfusion. But why would it matter? Even if she was starting to seriously hurt herself, who would really care? Sure, her sisters all said they did…but their actions lately didn't do a whole lot to support their claims. She was jsut a burden on them… Another spat of dizziness flowed through her again, this one accompanied by nausea. Piper clenched her eyes shut as she forced herself to wait it out_. It'll stop a little bit in a few minutes. She told herself, gasping slightly_. It always does. Jsut…just wait a few minutes_. Sure enough, after a few minutes had passed, it abated enough to allow her to slowly stand up, leaning on the edge of the table for support. _Something tells me that I won't be in very good working condition tonight_. Piper thought, closing her eyes again_. I should probably call someone to cover for me_…Slowly, Piper made her way over to the phone, walking as carefully as possible. _

The dizziness was getting better finally…and it wasn't quite so hard to breathe anymore. But Piper still felt horrible. _I want my sisters!_  She cried and tears made her eyesight blurry. They were always there for her when she was sick. And damn it, she needed them now! Suddenly, Pipers resolutions snapped. Sure, it was stressful for them to have to deal with her, and she was jsut a burden. But they were her sisters! Piper had promised them that she wouldn't give up, but she couldn't do it without them…she was only human, after all. She couldn't keep this all to herself forever, not do that and survive. She couldn't. She needed them…snatching the phone off of the hook, Piper dialed her home phone number. Prue had said that she would be home all day, and that Piper should call if she needed anything…and if this didn't count as needing something, then Piper didn't know what did. She waited, shaking, as the phone rang once, twice. Tears blurred her eyes as the phone continued to ring. Prue had promised that she would be home today. She had promised! So why wasn't she picking up? _Because she doesn't want to talk to you. The voice in her head told her calmly, rationally. __She is standing right there in the kitchen, watching the phone ring. But she can see that it is your number on the caller ID, so she's not going to pick up. She doesn't want to deal with her pathetic little sister right now, Piper, the one who can never take control of her own life. Can't you see that by now? Don't you know how pathetic they all think you are? Can't you tell? _

Moaning, Piper dropped the phone, and it clattered to the floor. Her hands groped around on the counter, until they finally came into contact with the item that she was looking for, her knife. It had seen her through a lot, this knife…and now it was going to help her again. Rolling up her sleeves, Piper deeply slashed the knife into one arm, and then into the other. Blood spurted forth…so much blood. A distant part of Piper knew that she had gone way to far that time, that she needed to stop the blood flow, now! But the other part of her jsut wanted to flow with things…jsut wanted to let this feeling go on a little longer before she forced herself back into the real world…Damn it was hard to keep her eyes focused. Everything jsut seemed to want to float around and double…why wouldn't the room just stay still? The walls seemed to want to close in on her…and everything jsut seemed to be getting dimmer and dimmer…The knife slipped from her fingers as Piper blacked out and fell to the floor, sharply hitting her head on the edge of the counter on her way down. 

Phoebe sat with Paige and Prue in the living room, as they watched some lifetime movie on TV, about twin girls who had been separated at birth, and then found each other sixteen years later over the internet. None of them were really paying attention. They were all jsut bored. _Are we pathetic or what_? Phoebe thought, laughing wryly at herself. _Here it is, a peaceful Saturday afternoon, no demons in sight, every one is feeling happier  then we have in ages…and we're bored. Seems like all of the excitement we've been put thorugh lately should have been enough_. Did they honestly want anymore?

            "Seriously." Prue grumbled. "We should be happy right now." Paige looked at her, confused. 

            "What?" She asked. "Where did that come from." Prue looked at her like she was crazy. 

            "I was jsut following up on what Phoebe just said…you know, about how we have no right to be bored, and all?" Come on Phoebes, you know what I'm talking about." Prue replied, turning to her other sister. 

            "Yeah," Phoebe said slowly, "but…" 

            "But what?"

            "I didn't say it out loud." The three looked at each other then, unsure of what to say next. Suddenly Paige gasped and paled, biting her lip. The other two hurried over to her side, arms around her, trying to steady her.

            "Paige?" Prue asked, fearfully. "Paige, what's wrong?" Paige shook her head. 

            "I jsut…I feel so dizzy all of the sudden…and nausous. It jsut came out of nowhere though…" Paige closed her eyes, willing the dizziness and nausea away. After a few moments, it abated slightly, though Paige could still feel it slightly. She leaned back into the couch, taking deep, steadying breaths. 

            "What was that all about?" Phoebe asked, rubbing her sister's back concernedly. Paige shook her head again.

            "I-I don't know. It was like I was jsut overwhelmed with this sudden dizziness…and it-it didn't really feel like my own." Phoebe frowned. 

            "Maybe your whitelighter senses are picking up on something. Has anything like this ever happened to you before?" Paige started to shake her head, then stopped. 

            "Yeah, it did, actually. Once. I was on a date, and all of the sudden I was filled with these overwhelming feelings of depression…they literally knocked me to the floor, they were so powerful. But again, they didn't seem to have anything to do with me…and they stopped as suddenly as they came. I didn't mention anything at the time because I didn't want to ruin my date, and after that, I guess that I jsut…forgot, or something."  Now it was Prue's turn to frown. 

            "So, I've been hearing voices, Paige is being attacked by feelings…what about you Phoebe? Are there any other extra senses that have been overwhelming you lately?" 

            "Wait, back up a minute." Paige broke in. "You've been hearing voices? You mean like just now, when you seemed to know what Phoebe was thinking?" Prue nodded.

            "Well, kinda, except…I don't know if they belonged to anyone or not, like Phoebe's did. I mean, the voice sounds familiar and all, but it's all distorted, and kind of distant. And always negative…telling me that I am not good enough, that I deserve to be hurt, that kind of stuff." 

            "Do you think that it's a demon?" Paige asked. "That's what it sounds like to me…like it is trying to get us to hurt ourselves with these thoughts or feelings or something." Prue nodded. 

            "Yeah, that makes sense. We should call Piper, then go check in the Book of Shadows to see if there is some kind of demon that attacks like this." They started to rise, then noticed that Phoebe was shaking her head. 

            "Phoebe?" Prue inquired, "what's wrong?" 

            "I don't think that it's a demon that did this to us Prue." Phoebe told her. "Or if it is, not in the way that you think. I think that we are connected to someone…a woman…and are somehow experiencing the same things that she does." Paige looked at her. 

            "What makes you say that?" She asked.

            "I've been having these kinds of experiences lately too." Phoebe told them. "For me, I see out of the person's eyes…for the most part, I see her cutting herself, hurting herself. I thought I was jsut dreaming, but the dreams seemed so real, and so familiar…but I didn't say anything, because I thought that I was jsut being crazy. But now I realized what it was that the dreams reminded me of. The time I was connected to the Succubus. I am seeing through this woman's eyes the exact same way I saw out of hers…so I think that this is real too." The phone began to ring then, in the kitchen, but none of them made any move to get it. This was more important, they could call who ever it was back later.

            "Do you have any idea who the woman is?" Prue asked. Phoebe shook her head. 

            "No, none. I'm not hearing her thoughts, remember, just seeing what she sees. And so far, she hasn't looked in a mirror yet." Suddenly Prue looked up, fear in her eyes. 

            "The voice in my head…" she began carefully, " well, I already told you that it sounds familiar, but I can't place it because of the distortion. What you could see of this woman…did it seem at all familiar to you?" Phoebe nodded, slowly. 

            "Yeah, she does seem kind of familiar. But I can't place her either. Why, do you have an idea who it is?" _God, I hope not_. Prue thought. 

            "Well, it's jsut something that you said about us being connected to her…that makes sense, but…earlier, I heard your voice, not hers. Why would that happen unless…?" 

            "We are connected to each other." Phoebe breathed. "Oh god. Why didn't any of us notice?" Prue shook her head, tears in her eyes. 

            "It was all there for us to see…but we jsut ignored it, because we didn't want to have any more problems." She said quietly. "We need to get to her now. I just hope that we aren't to late…" Phoebe shook her head, adamately. 

            "We won't be." She said firmly. "We can't be. She made it through once, she can do it again. She has to." Paige looked from Prue to Phoebe, utterly confused. 

            "Who can't be? Who do we have to get to? What haven't we noticed? Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Both Prue and Phoebe looked at her for the longest time, tears in their eyes, unable to answer at first. Finally, they spoke together.

            "Piper." They said simply. 


	6. Finding Her

A/N: Hey guys! Since I felt so bad about how long I've been making you wait for chapters, I decided to make this wait a little longer, so that I could write extra chapters, and give you guys at least a week of daily to every other day updates. So I have six more chapters written, which will pretty much be coming out one a day…I say pretty much because I am going to be out of town this weekend, so there will be no update on Saturday, and none until late on Sunday. But you get the basic idea. I'm still having problems fighting with the dreaded demon WB (that's Writer's Block,  not the station) but at the time, I seem to have him a bit at bay so that I can spit some stuff out. And people aren't trying to vanquish me anymore, which is good. Did I ever mention that? A little while back a FFN reader, along with the help of the sun and the moon, was out to vanquish me, but my twin managed to talk her out of it. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy these next few chapters! And thank you to all of my loyal reviewers, who jsut wouldn't let me alone, but got me off my butt and writing again. You guys rock! 

Charmed Writer: You aren't back yet, but you get a spot anyways! I'm working up to that chapter I told you about…please come home soon! Me misses yous!!!! PTTT!!!!!!!!!!!

Paige looked from sister to sister, feeling completely lost. 

            "Whoa whoa whoa." She told them, "slow down. What about Piper? How did you guys make that leap? Is there something you're not telling me here, because I am sooo not following you guys right now…" 

            "We'll explain later." Prue broke in. "We don't have time right now. Jsut orb us to Piper, okay?" 

            "But…"

            "Paige, jsut do it!" Prue snapped, loosing her patience. She felt a little guilty, but her feelings of worry and panic about Piper overrode the less threatening feelings of guilt about Paige. Paige, noticing the panic in her sister's voice, didn't ask any more questions, and orbed them to the club.

Since the club was closed at this time of the day, and the employees didn't come until later, Paige didn't bother sensing the building, and simply took them straight to the center of the club. The three looked around, it appeared empty.  Phoebe and Prue broke away and began to fan out. 

            "Piper?" Prue called out, the panic rising in her voice, "Piper please answer me! Come on honey, where are you?" Phoebe was searching and calling as well, when suddenly she froze, noticing the still form that lay beneath the counter a few feet away. 

            "Prue!" She called out desperately. "Over here!" After the heart stopping moment of first seeing her sister, Phoebe was able to overcome her temporary paralysis and rush to Piper's side. Prue hurried over as well, stopping dead for a moment when she saw her sister. 

            Piper lay collapsed under the counter, sprawled out limply on the floor, in a pool of her own blood. Blood was continuing to leak from the large, deep cuts in her arms, and more seeped from an unknown wound to her head. Prue practically fell the last two steps to Piper's side, tears pouring down her cheeks.

            "No." She cried softly, shaking her head. "Nonononononono. You can't do this to her. Not again. Oh god, not again." Prue's voice broke, and the tears came even harder. Piper looked even worse up close than she had from a few feet away. She was pale-so pale, she looked like a ghost-and thin beyond belief, making her resemble a wraith of her former self. There were deep dark circles under her eyes, which seemed sunken into her face. 

 Prue pulled Piper's head onto her lap, noticing for the first time the origin of where all the blood that was pouring through her head was coming from. Prue just cried and rocked her sister back and forth, still shaking her head, oblivious to her surroundings. Phoebe was in tears as well, feeling utterly helpless. She grabbed onto one of Piper's hands with one of her own, and wrapped her other arm around Prue's shoulder, leaning into her big sister for support. 

Paige seemed to be the only one of them that could function. Upon hearing Phoebe's anguished cry, she raced over to the cordless phone and grabbed it off the hook, before even looking at Piper. Then she hurried over to join her sisters, kneeling on the floor beside them.

 Dropping the phone onto her lap, Paige used on hand to dial 911 and then raise the other to her ear, while holding the other over Piper's motionless body, praying for her whitelighter healing abilities to kick in. If there ever was a time that she needed them, this was it. But nothing happened, no glow appeared, and Piper's wounds showed no signs of healing. So Paige turned her attention to the voice on the other end of the line, one hand still hovering jsut in case, although she didn't have much hope for it.

 Tears were building up behind her eyes, threatening to pour over, but Paige wouldn't let them. She had to be strong now. Prue and Phoebe were a mess, she couldn't be. Someone had to stay strong, had to stay in control. And as much as she didn't want the job, Paige knew that she had to accept it. After a few minutes of talking to the emergency personnel, Paige hung up the phone.

            "The ambulance will be here in a few minutes." She told her sisters, amazed at how steady her voice sounded. It was then that Paige noticed that Piper was still bleeding, that the blood flow hadn't yet stopped. 

            "Shit." She swore. "Guys, we need to stop the bleeding." Phoebe looked at her, helplessly, and Prue didn't even seem to notice that she had spoken. Paige sighed. Apparently her sisters' weren't even capable of thinking for themselves at all right now. _Guess that means that I'll jsut have to tell them what to do_. Paige thought. 

            "Phoebe!" She ordered sharply, "We need to do something to stop the bleeding. Go get something that we can use to press against the wounds. Rags, or something. And wet some others so that I can try to clean her up a bit. Go!" Blinking tearfully at Paige, Phoebe went. Time was of the essence here, so while Phoebe searched for rags, Paige pulled off her shirt and ripped it into pieces, which she wound tightly against Piper's arm. Another piece she balled up and handed to Prue, who still had Piper's head cradled in her lap. 

"Here." Paige told her, "press this against the cut up there. We have to stop the bleeding." Prue mechanically did as Paige told her, not even seeming aware of her actions. Paige's heart wrenched for her oldest sister. 

            "It's gonna be okay," Paige told her, trying to reassure herself as much as Prue. "The way that she's still bleeding…it's a good thing. It means that she can't have been like this that long before we found her, because it would have clotted up already. And her head wound…I know it looks nasty, but head injuries always do, and they always bleed a lot, even when the aren't serious…" Paige's voice trailed off when she realized that Prue couldn't even really here her. She was off in her own world, Prue was, a world that only included herself and Piper. 

Phoebe returned with the damp and dry rags a few moments later. 

            "Thanks honey." Paige told her, "This'll work much better than the stuff I have on there now." But Paige had no sooner exchanged the already blood-soaked remnants of her shirt with the new rags Phoebe provided than she heard the wailing of the ambulance approaching. The emergency personnel rushed in, and began to prep Piper and take her away on a stretcher. Prue looked lost as they pulled Piper out of her grasp, and wouldn't leave her sister's side as they began to carry her away on a stretcher. The doctors looked from sister to sister, finally deciding on Paige as the most sensible and aware of the lot. 

            "Only one of you can accompany us in the ambulance ma'am." He told her. "The other two will have to follow by car."

            "You go." Paige immediately told Prue. Prue was in enough hysterics as it was, and Paige had a feeling that if any of them tried to separate her from Piper it would jsut get worse. Besides, she obviously had the most right to go. Paige herself might have been a good selection, because of how calm she seemed able to remain, but her ability to orb canceled that out. She would be able to get herself and whoever else stayed behind to the hospital much faster than either of the others could using a car. And as for Phoebe, well…she seemed to have regressed to a child. Not in hysterics, like Prue was. For all of Prue's fear and tears, she still seemed like herself, seemed her own age. But Phoebe, on the other hand, looked like a twelve year old. _They said that Piper had been through this before. Paige mused. __I wonder if that's how old Phoebe was when it happened that time. _

            Suddenly realizing how out of place these thoughts were at this time, Paige wrenched herself out of her reverie and into the present. As Prue and Piper and the doctors disappeared through the doors of P3, Paige turned back to Phoebe. 

            "We can orb over to the hospital in a minute, but first I need to get a shirt. I don't think that I should show up in jsut my bra. Do you know if Piper keeps any spare shirts around here?" Phoebe didn't answer for a minute, jsut started at Paige fearfully. Paige sighed. "Never mind, I think I remember seeing her out some in the back room once." Paige walked in there to grab one, and pulled it over her head. Piper was a tad less… busty…then Paige, so the shirt was rather tight, even for Paige. Walking back out into the main room at P3, Paige saw Phoebe looking repeatedly at the clock on the wall. Paige walked over and wrapped her arms around her big sister.

            "I know that you want to go see her, really I do. I do to. But we have to wait a few minutes before going over. It's going to take them a few minutes to get to the hospital, and it would be weird, and invite questions, if we got there sooner than they did. But we'll go soon." Phoebe was shaking in Paige's arms, and Paige had to swallow past another lump in her throat.

            "I promise you that she will be okay." Paige whispered. "She's a fighter, and…she'll make it. She has to make it." One tear managed to get through Paige's barriers, and rolled down her cheek. Paige brushed it away, but her façade of being all right was becoming harder and harder to maintain. Paige wondered when she would have time to let go and cry for herself, let go of all the anguish she was feeling inside. Glancing at the clock again, Paige saw that about ten minutes had passed. Tightening her hold on Phoebe, Paige braced herself for the bustle of the hospital. Casting her senses to see where in the hospital it would be safe to orb to, she finally found a place not too far away from where they wanted to be, but also not where there were any people. 

            "Come on." Paige murmured to Phoebe, "let's go see our sister." With that, she orbed to the hospital.


	7. The Hospital

A/N: See, it's here! One thing I forgot to say in my A/N for the last chapter: I know nothing about hospital procedure. So everything I have here is probably completely wrong and screwed up. Please don't take offense. Jsut try and pretend that it makes sense. Hope you can still enjoy it! And thank you sooo much for all of the positive reviews that you sent me for the last chap. It makes me want to post so much more! (and feel that much more guilty when WB is attacking…lol) Hope you guys like this chap too! And I'm going to try the whole thanking people who review again thingy (even though I wasn't very good at it last time, I can never think of something to say that doesn't sound corny) so bear with me. (These are just the people who reviewed for the last chap. I am waaaaay too behind on thanking people to go back any farther than that.)

Piper Person: I am so glad that you like my story so much. You have no idea how much it means to me for you to consider it that good! 

Charmed Fanatic: You are a wonderful, loyal reviewer, and I'm glad that my story hasn't let you down so far. I hope that you keep on enjoying it! Thank you so much for your continual and wonderful reviews!

Melly: I am really glad that you are enjoying my story. I was worried that some people might find it offensive, so it means a lot to me to hear you say that you are enjoying it.

WAnNaBpIpEr (hope I did the caps right there): You are another very loyal reviewer, and your reviews are always great! I'm so glad that you are still reading my stuff after all this time, and I hope that you continue to enjoy it! Unfortunately, the next few chapters aren't really going to be from Piper's perspective either. I've been trying to do all of the sisters evenly, but we'll see how that goes. I don't think I have very much Phoebe.  It feels weird writing more about the other characters (believe me, I prefer writing mainly with Piper) but I have to do so in order to get the story where I need it to go. But don't worry, it's not some new trend of mine that will happen in all of my stories. Hope you can bear with me during these next few chaps. 

Piper13: I'm glad that you think this is such a good story. I hope that you like this part too!

Helena: Thank you so much for your review! I'm glad that you like the story!

Line: I know I said that I was only thanking people whose reviews I received for this chap, but since you sent me TWO reviews for chap five, letting me know that people out there are still awaiting my update, and that I needed to get off my butt and update, I decided to give you a spot here two. Thank you sooo much! 

Charmed Writer: I miss my twins most wonderful reviews! And updates!!!!!!! *Is selfish* How many more days until you come back? You said maybe in July? *counts days in head*** **Whenever it is, it's not soon enough! You need to be back now!!!!!!!!!! Please? I'll…I'll…*resorts to tactics that are used when trying to convince twin to update*… I'll give you candy! Of course, by the time you read this you are back anyways, but…yeah. PTTT!

Paige and Phoebe found Prue sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, staring off into space. The tears were still flowing down her cheeks, but they were coming more slowly now, and Prue seemed a bit more aware, and less out of it. Upon seeing her older sister, Phoebe immediately joined her sister on the bench, curling up on her side, and laying her head in Prue's lap. In contrast to Prue, Phoebe's tears began to fall even harder, and Prue began to absently stroke her little sister's hair. Within moments, Phoebe was asleep. It was her way of blocking out the world, her way of dealing with the wait until they received news about Piper. Jsut shut it all out, make it all go away.  

            "Hey," Paige said gently, seating herself next to Prue's other side and wrapping and arm around her big sister, "sorry we didn't get here early. How are you holding up?" Prue sniffed. 

            "Not great." She admitted, wiping away her tears. "And we jsut got here too, so don't worry about it. You couldn't have come any earlier without causing questions to come up, and that's the last thing we need right now." Paige nodded.

            "That's kinda what I figured. Did they tell you anything? While you were in the ambulance, or when they were taking her away, or something?" Prue shook her head. 

            "They jsut rushed her off as soon as we got her. Didn't tell me anything other than to stay in the waiting room. I think I tried to follow them; it's all kind of a blur. And they didn't say anything to me in the ambulance either; they were jsut talking a bunch of technical mumbo-jumbo to each other. But it doesn't look good. They all seemed really worried, some of them almost seemed hopeless…" Prue's voice trailed off, and Paige closed her eyes against the pain. Prue really looked at her youngest sister for the first time, sensing the toll that all of this had already taken on Paige.

            "It's okay to let go you know." Prue told her softly. "You were great back there, taking charge when I-when I couldn't, even though it was my job. But you don't have to keep being the strong one. It's ok to cry. God knows I did, Phoebe did too. I'm here for you." Paige blinked furiously, and Prue pulled her into her side, stroking Paige's hair like she had down for Phoebe, whispering reassurances into her ear. So Paige let go. She let out the tears, and the grief, and the fear, and the fury, and with Prue there beside her, being the big sister again, she knew that it was okay. 

            A few hours later, Phoebe blinked sleepily, raising her head. For the first few moments of awareness she felt only confusion, wondering where she was and what was going on. Then reality hit, and Phoebe had to bite her lip against the pain. She wished that all of this could jsut be a nightmare…that she could wake up, and none of it would have happened, everything would be all right. Unfortunately, that obviously wasn't going to happen. Glancing around at her surroundings, Phoebe noticed that Paige and Prue seemed to be dealing in the same way she had, both were asleep on the bench, leaning into each other. Careful not to disturb Prue, Phoebe slid off the bench and walked over to the receptionist. 

            "Excuse me." Phoebe said, tapping on the desk, "I was wondering you have any news on my sister? Her name is Piper? Piper Halliwell." The nurse flipped through a few charts and rapidly typed something into the screen, then looked up and smiled sympathetically at Phoebe. 

            "I'm sorry, but we have to information regarding Piper Halliwell at this time. It appears that she will be in the ER for at least another hour, probably more. I'd advise going to get something to eat." Phoebe's stomach had no interest in food right now. 

            "Oh." She said dejectedly. "Well, thanks anyway. Will the doctor…?"

            "He'll come out and inform you as soon as there is any news. And if you want to go grab something to eat, or a coffee or something, we will page you if he happens to come while you are off doing that." Phoebe nodded. 

            "Thanks." She told her, and walked away. _I really don't think that I can handle food right now_, Phoebe thought, _but coffee might be a good idea. Especially since I'll want to be plenty aware when the doctor comes, not all muddled from sleep like I am now.  That decided, Phoebe drifted down to the café, and got in line. At the last minute, she ended up grabbing a small sandwich to go with her coffee. She may not want to eat, but she wouldn't do Piper any good collapsing from hunger. Plus, it would keep her from getting the jitters with her coffee. After thinking about it, Phoebe grabbed two more sandwiches and two more cups of coffee. She knew that there was no way Prue would go and get anything for herself. Paige could probably be convinced to do so, but if Phoebe was going to get stuff for Prue, she might was well do so for Paige too. Placing the items in a tray, she carefully headed back to the waiting room, moving slowly so as not to spill. She found that Paige and Prue were still asleep, and not wanting to wake them, Phoebe merely placed the tray on the bench, and settled herself down next to them. She was a  few sips into her coffee when she noticed a doctor approaching them. Phoebe rose, and walked over to greet him. _

"Are you one of the Halliwell sisters?" he asked her. Phoebe nodded, and they shook hands. 

"I'm Doctor Jenningson. I'm here to talk to you about your sister's condition." He looked past her to Prue and Paige, still sleeping on the couch. "Will, I jsut be speaking with you, or will you be waking…?"

"They'll be joining us." Phoebe informed him. Doctor Jenningson nodded. 

"I'll be right over there in room 216. Why don't you three meet me there and we can talk." Phoebe nodded again, and he headed off to the room. Phoebe crossed back over to her sisters.

Phoebe was still reluctant to disturb her sleeping sisters, but now she had no choice. They'd kill her if she let them sleep thorough this. Gently shaking them awake, Phoebe placed the coffees in their hands. Both seemed confused, and disoriented, as Phoebe had. 

            "The doctor's here." That immediately got their attention; they both hurriedly straightened and looked around. 

            "He's over in a private room." Phoebe continued. "We can go there in a minute, but first you guys should drink your coffee and eat up. I think we'll be wanting all of our wits for this." Prue looked at her for a moment, as though she were about to protest, then smiled ruefully, and complied.

            "Guess we're all taking turns being the big sister here, huh?" Phoebe smiled tiredly. 

            "Well, we can't let you boss us all the time. Besides, being the one in charge is too much for jsut one of us to handle. It makes more sense if we take turns, and makes us more able to deal, more able to help Piper." Prue still felt guilty and a little ashamed, she couldn't help but feel that she should be the only one in charge at all times, that it wasn't fair to let her little sisters deal with that burden. But what Phoebe said made sense, and he part about being best able to help Piper particularly got Prue. The three sisters ate and drank rapidly, and after throwing away their garbage, followed Phoebe to room 216. There, Prue took charge again, and gently nudging her younger sister's behind her, entered the room first. The doctor smiled tiredly and pityingly at them as they entered, and waved them into chairs across from him. 

            "Please, have a seat." They did so, none of them taking their eyes off of him. He blinked slightly, and looked away. This was one of the hardest parts of his job.  Finally, taking a deep breath, Doctor Jenningson began to speak. 

            "I'm afraid I have some bad news…"  

A/N: Hehe, a cliffhanger! Don't you jsut love 'em? Come on, I know you do…now, depending on what time we leave for vacation tomorrow and on what time we get home on Sunday, the next chap will either come out tomorrow, Sunday, or Monday. But definitely not Saturday. So, how much do you guys want to find out the rest of what the doctor has to tell them??? *is evil* no, jk, I promise that I will TRY to get the next chap out tomorrow, and if not then then on Sunday. *knocks on wood* So let's jsut hope that my family doesn't leave too early tomorrow. I can't post the next chap today, because, well…that would be destroying the point of having this one end in a cliffhanger! And I can't do that! 


	8. What the Doc says

A/N: Sorry!!!!!!!! We did end up leaving early Friday after all (six in the frickin morning to be exact…what planet are my parents from?) and didn't come back until today, rather than late Saturday. My dad decided he was too tired to drive late at night. But anyway, I am back now, and here's the next chap!

Willow: Sorry that you hate cliffhangers, but they are a favorite tool of most evil writers. (Like myself) Hope this chapter makes you happy! 

River Goddess: I'm glad that you think this is a great story! Thanx for the review!

Witch: All right, all right, here it is! Jsut please don't sick the evil leprechauns on me, because then I will never be able to finish! 

Emma: I think that you are the only one who said I did a good cliffhanger…lol. I am really glad you like the story, thank you for reviewing!

Line: Oh, come on, you know you love them…jk, jk. It wasn't meant to be so mean since I was planning on updating the next day…but then things got away from me, so I ended up being more mean than I meant to be. Glad that you liked the rest of the chap though. Hope ya like this one too! 

Kangaroo: Well, the wait is over, cause here's the chap! Don't give up on your story, sometimes it can take awhile for it to feel like its going right. Thanks for reviewing!

wAnNaBpIpEr: Poo on me?! Now it's jsut going to take longer to update, cause I have to go wash it all off! I'm really glad you won't stop reading…hope you continue to enjoy!

Charmed Fanatic: Noooo, you figured me out! Lol, I guess the whole cliffhanger thing wasn't all that subtle, but still…I hope you like the way things turn out this chapter. I wish that the characters on the show would act more like this too…I liked Piper's character during season one the best, so I've been trying to mold her off of that. Oh, and I don't think that BIM will be updated until this is done, cause that way I will be able to focus my full attention on it. And I don't have much more to do on this one anyway. And after I finish BIM, I have plans for the story that comes after this one in the sequence. So everything will get finshed (cross my heart, hope to die…) it jsut might take awhile. Sorry! 

Melly: I hope this comes out before you go on vacation, sorry I wasn't around to put it up sooner! I hope that your obsession isn't as bad as mine is with the show…then you could be in for some trouble. Lol. Hope you're able to read this! 

JJ: I'm really glad that you think this is so awesome. And awesome enough to forget the next chapter in Harry Potter?! Wow, I must be doing something right here…thank you so much for reviewing! 

Piper 13: I take it you mean the whole cliffhanger thingy? *Batts eyes innocently*  Aww but their so much fun! *Backs out of hitting range* Well, now you can know what happened…hope you like it! 

Piperperson: All right, I updated! Thanks for the review, I can't believe that you think this is such a good story! 

P3Halliwell1329: All right, all right, I'm back! Here's what the doc has to say…enjoy!

"I'm afraid that Piper has gone into a coma." The three sisters let out a collective, shuddering sigh. Prue wasn't quite sure what to feel. On the one hand, she was relieved. When the doctor had said those first horrible seven words 'I'm afraid I have some bad news' Prue thought…she had been sure…that Piper…that she was…But Prue had been wrong, that was the important part. Piper wasn't…wasn't that horrible word. But no sooner did Prue have time to process that wonderful thought than the meaning of the doctor's words sank in. A coma. Her little sister was in a coma. Prue shuddered slightly. Sure, people woke up from coma's all the time, seemingly none the worse. But people also…they also…that word! And after the last time Piper had gone into a coma…she-she had almost! And there was no Leo here to save her this time, nothing that magic could do. Prue realized that her thoughts were jumbled and incoherent, and wondered why she wasn't picking up on any of her sisters thoughts. They were all probably to drained, she figured, didn't have the strength it required. It was then that Prue noticed the doctor looking at her, seeming to expect an answer to what he had jsut told them. Prue made an effort to pull herself together, and gulped.

            "H-how bad?" She asked quietly.  The doctor shook his head. 

            "Bad." He said simply. "There is a ten percent chance that she will regain consciousness, a fifty percent chance of death, and a forty percent chance of becoming a vegetable. I'm very sorry." One of them whimpered. Prue didn't know which one of them it was, frankly, it could have been her.

            "Isn't there anything…I mean, there's nothing…there's no way t-to pull her out of this?"

            "We've done all that we can. We'll keep her hooked up to all of the lifelines, of course, but…that will jsut keep her as she is. There is nothing further we can do, treatment wise.

            "But it was jsut a few cuts!" Phoebe broke in. "I know that they were bad, and that she bled a lot from them, but…but people get hurt worse than that in car accidents every day, and there is rarely a doubt that they will survive, they rarely go into…comas." Phoebe spat out the word coma like it was poison, which it was, to all of them. "So why Piper? Why is she in this…this condition?" The doctor sighed. 

            "You're right in that these cuts that Piper had received today are fairly minor. If they were all that had happened to her, then I have no doubt that she would be fine. However, Piper's body is too frail to be able to deal with this kind of damage, however slight it may seem. She is dangerously undernourished, almost to the point of being starving. She has lost a lot of blood in the last few weeks, it is my opinion that she reached the point of needing the transfusion at least six days ago. Her body simply has no fight in it left. And the fact that all of this was done…well, it wasn't a suicide attempt, the cuts weren't in the right place for us to be able to call it a suicide attempt…but the fact that Piper has given herself these cuts, on purpose, makes her body even more incapable of dealing with them. The brain is a powerful tool, and does a lot to either help, or in this case, hinder, the body's healing process." 

Prue bit her lip. It was hard enough having Piper in the hospital, near…near IT. But to have her little sister here because she put herself here, because she was intent on hurting herself, and for it not to be the first, not the second, but the third time that Piper had done so…Prue didn't know what to think. _Even if-when_-she corrected herself firmly, _even when Piper pulls out of this, wakes herself up…what if it jsut happens again? We can't jsut say that we'll try harder this time, treat her differently, be more aware, more careful…we've done that twice now. And obviously, it isn't working. So how are we going to help her?_ The doctor looked sympathetically from sister to sister, hurting himself from the grief in their faces. It was times like this when he hated his profession, wished that he wasn't a doctor. He loved being able to help people, loved the looks on people's faces when they found out that their loved one was alive and well thanks to his care…but did it really make up for hating to tell people this kind of thing? Shaking his head in sadness, he longed to be able to take away their pain. 

            "Do you have any more questions for me?"

            "When can we see her?" Prue asked, quietly, calmly. Her sisters had dissolved into tears again, but she no longer felt as though she could cry. She felt like the old Prue again, the one who never let anything show. And the only person who really knew her well enough to be able to call her on it was the person that she was hurting for so much right now. 

            "If you don't have any more questions, then you can see her right now, actually." Doctor Jenningson told them. 

            "Now, normally, we have strict visiting rules when a patient is in such critical care, but…as I told you, the brain is a powerful tool. And even when in a coma, it is believed that the patient can often hear what is going on around them. So in this case, I think it would be healthier for Piper to allow you full access to your sister, so long as you are careful, don't get in the way of any hospital personnel, and don't disturb any of the machines. But you are all adults, so I don't really see a problem arising in any of those departments." Prue sighed in relief. If they had denied her access to her Piper…well, Prue wasn't really sure what she would have done. Thank god they didn't. Prue could see similar expressions of relief on the faces of her sisters. Together, they rose, and Prue led the way to the door. Doctor Jenningson opened it for them, and guided them out into the hallway. 

            "I've let all of the staff know that you three-and only you three-are to have full access to Piper." Prue liked how he called her Piper. So many doctors jsut treated their patients as interesting case studies, and seemed to forget that they were real people with real families. She was glad that this doctor was different. 

            "So no one should disturb you." Doctor Jenningson continued, breaking into Prue's thoughts. After a few more minutes of walking, the doctor came to a stop. 

            "This is her room. I'll let you three go in and see her now…page one of the nurses if you need anything, and if you need me, they can reach me. I really am terribly sorry that there isn't any more we can do for her."'

            "It's all right." Prue whispered, not really trusting her voice at that moment. "Thank you for all that you have done." Then, turning away from him, Prue gripped her sisters' hands in her own. 

            "Come on. I think it's way past time we saw her now." Desperately holding onto each other for support, the three sisters entered Piper's room. 


	9. Seeing Piper

A/N: Sorry I didn't get the chap out til late today, but I was out a lot. And hey, it's not midnight yet, so I didn't break my promise! Enjoy! Oh, one more thing. I will be gone from Thursday through Tuesday, so after tomorrow's update, there won't be another one for a week. I'm almost out of ready made chapters anyway though, I think I only have two more after this one, and then I need to start writing again. Which I'll do on my vacation, so when I come back, there will be lots again. Anyways, sorry for the delay there will be! 

A/N 2: Okay, ignore the above part about being on time. My comp wouldn't let me online last night, so I had to wait until this morning to post. On the plus side, I am putting up two chaps though, yesterdays and todays! That's good, right? 

Piper had never looked as pale and helpless as she looked jsut then, laying the strange hospital bed. Prue blinked back tears and slowly walked over to her sister's side, taking a seat next to the bed, and taking one of Piper's small hands into her own. 

            "Hey sweetie." She said softly. "It's me, Prue. Phoebes and Paige are here too. We're all really worried about you, and need you to get better soon, okay? The doctors are letting us stay here, so we're going to be here for you, every step of the way. Jsut…please wake up, and tell us what you need.  I hate to see you hurting like this, and I want you to get better…" Prue had to close her eyes then against the lump in her throat. 

As Prue got herself back under control, Paige and Phoebe sat down next to Piper as well. Paige took the seat on the other side of Piper's bed, while Phoebe curled up next to Prue in the same seat as her big sister. It was a little bit of a tight fit; Phoebe was practically sitting on Prue's lap. But neither sister minded, both were relieved at the closeness of the other. After a moment, Prue glanced guiltily over to Paige, on the other side of the bed. She couldn't help but notice that they were being a little exclusive…it seemed to be the three originals as a unit here, with Paige jsut hanging on in the outskirts, clutching at the fraying thread that was Piper.

Surveying her sisters, the one so close to her, the other so far away, Prue allowed herself to wonder what would happen to them if Piper…if she…didn't make it. Prue still couldn't bring herself to think the horrible word. There would be no more charmed ones if Piper didn't wake up. There would still be three sister witches, but it wouldn't be the power of three. There would only be the two powers. Sure, one of them would be doubly strong, but that wasn't the same, wasn't enough. Having two of one power wouldn't make up for loosing the third. In that way, Prue and Paige were both expendable, Piper and Phoebe were not. 

So, if it…if it came to that, and there were no more charmed ones, what would happen to them as sisters? There was no doubt in her mind that she and Phoebe would drift apart again. Piper had always been the connection between the two, the bond that held them together. Sure, they had come a long ways from where they were when Phoebe first came back from New York, they were infinitely closer now, but still…If they lost Piper, all of the old hurts and insecurities would jsut come popping back up, they wouldn't be able to stick together. The fighting would start again, and without Piper to stop it before it escalated to far…Prue shivered. She didn't want to lose her baby sister like that, but she honestly couldn't see it happening any other way. 

Prue felt a little guilty that she still thought of Phoebe as her "baby sister." After all, technically, that was no longer true. Technically, Paige was the youngest, so she was now the baby sister. But Prue couldn't see her like that. Paige was her sister; there was no doubt in her mind about that. Ever since she had first heard about Paige, she had been Prue's little sister in her mind. But not her baby sister. That spot was reserved for Phoebe. The only reason that Prue could come up with for feeling this way was that she and Phoebe grew up together, so that as children, Phoebe literally was her baby sister. Now, never having known Paige as a baby, Prue found it impossible to give Paige that title. She met Paige as an adult, so Paige was always an adult in her mind, case closed. But she met Phoebe as a baby, so Phoebe would always be a baby in her mind. Prue had a lingering feeling in her mind that it still wasn't being quite fair to Paige, but she tried to brush it away, and in doing so returned to her musings about what was going to happen to them as sisters.

So, if she and Phoebe drifted apart, where did that leave Paige? She couldn't really see Paige staying with her with Phoebe out of their lives…as much as she loved her youngest sister-youngest, that was a good way of describing Paige, Phoebe was the baby, Paige was the youngest-she couldn't picture them staying close without the rest of the sisters to tie them all together. They simply didn't know each other well enough. Prue would be too bossy, and Paige, not having been raised with Prue's bossiness, would drift away. She wouldn't be able to accept the bossiness, because she hadn't been dealing with it her whole life, but at the same time, she wouldn't be able to rebel against it like Phoebe would, because she wouldn't feel like she knew Prue well enough to do so. So she would jsut stay away more and more, get her own place, start seeing Prue less and less…and there you have it, another sister estrangement. 

Now that Prue had come to the depressing realization that, without Piper, neither of her other sisters would really be able to stand staying close to her, she wondered if Paige and Phoebe would manage better than that with each other. At first, that seemed likely. After all, when Paige had first come to the family, Phoebe was the one who made her feel the most welcome. So it was probably Phoebe who Paige felt the closest too, and with whom Paige would be able to stay close. But after looking at the situation more closely, Prue had to wonder if that was really true. Yes, Phoebe had been the most welcoming in the beginning. But at the same time…when Prue was around the three sisters, she sensed a bond between Piper and Paige that didn't really exist between Paige and Phoebe. Together, Paige and Phoebe were…well, they were close, obviously, they had fun, they loved each other. But…Prue tried to put her finger on jsut what the difference was. 

_I can't confide in Phoebe the same way. Prue's head shot up at the sound of her youngest sister's voice. It took her a minute to realize that Paige hadn't actually said anything, she had jsut thought it. And since Paige was still completely engrossed in Piper, she obviously hadn't sent the thought out to Prue on purpose. While thinking of Paige, and puzzling over the bonds between her and Phoebe vs. her and Piper, she must have managed to 'hack' in to Paige's thoughts. _

Thinking about what she had jsut heard Paige 'say,' Prue decided that it made sense. Paige had been through a lot growing up, stuff that must have really changed her as a person. Piper had too. And Phoebe, well, she was one of those lucky people who were always able to get on with life. Of course, she felt pain. But not to the same extent that Piper did. Even allowing for the fact that Piper had been much closer to Prue than Phoebe had, Phoebe still mourned far less over Prue's death than Piper did. That wasn't to say that Phoebe didn't love Prue, or feel sorrow at her passing. It jsut meant that Phoebe was more capable of getting on with her life after the fact. 

Paige was probably more similar to Piper in the way she felt strong emotions, as evidenced by the way Paige reacted over her parents' deaths. Furthermore, Piper had an empathic quality about her; a way of taking whatever someone was feeling or hurting onto herself, thus relieving the other person from the pain. So, after a long healing talk with Piper, Paige would probably feel more of a feeling of lasting relief than she would gain from talking to Phoebe.  _Poor Piper. _Prue thought. _No wonder she snapped. With everyone always loading their problems onto her, she must have felt like there was no one for her to unload on. _

Sighing, Prue resolved to change that WHEN Piper woke up. No more thinking negatively now, especially not here. She had to be sending Piper strong, positive messages in order for her little sister to feel like she could overcome this. And she would need to give Piper more connections back into their world. Little things, little positive anecdotes that would keep Piper from feeling left out of life. All of this silence wouldn't get her sister anywhere. So once more, Prue began to talk.  


	10. Paige's Solution

A/N: No new A/N for this one, since I'm posting it at the same time as the last. Enjoy!         

For the next few days, Prue, Paige, and Phoebe talked to Piper about anything and everything they could think of. Piper's condition was slowly worsening, and they were frantic to find something that might trigger some kind of response in her brain. So far, nada. 

            "What are we going to do Prue?" Phoebe whispered, her voice clogged up with tears. "We can't loose our Piper. She-she-without her, we're nothing. I can't stand to see her wasting away like this." Prue sniffed, and shook her head. 

            "I-I don't know." She replied helplessly. She didn't know. None of them did. And all they could do was wait. 

            "Damnit this isn't fair!" Paige swore, and smacked the Book closed. She and Prue were taking their break there, while Phoebe was at the hospital, still talking to Piper. This was one of Prue's ideas. She said that they couldn't explode, couldn't blow up in front of Piper jsut in case the negative emotions had some sort of bad effect on her. So they took turns spending small periods of time at the manor with one other sister-someone had to be with Piper at all times-so that they could blow up, explode, scream, be violent, and release anything that they might have pent up inside of them. Or, if they preferred, jsut take a break, take some time to sleep without feeling like they were letting Piper down. It was also a chance to look in the book and try to contact Grams about any possible solutions. Prue didn't think that they would find any- after all, there hadn't been any last time-but they couldn't jsut sit around and do nothing. They couldn't. So, here they were, she and Paige, up in the manor flipping through the Book and dealing with disappointment after disappointment.

            "We have the fucking power of three here, after all! Isn't that good for anything?" Prue shook her head. 

            "We don't have the power of three." She gently contradicted. "And even if we did, I'm not sure that it would be enough." Paige looked at her, confused.

            "What do you mean we don't have the power of three? Piper may be in a coma, but there are four of us now, so that still leaves three. You, me, Phoebe. One, two three. Three witches." Prue shook her head again. 

            "Three witches, yes. But not the _power _of three. We only have, well, the power of two, extra on the two." Paige slowly sank onto the old couch they had up there as she processed this. Prue felt horrible. She had been trying to keep Paige from realizing this-that she was expendable, and Piper wasn't-but she seemed to be figuring that out now.  _Damn. I shouldn't have told her about the whole Power of Three thing. But she had to know, she would have found out eventually anyway, and then she would have jsut hated me for not telling her earlier, for letting her believe that the Power of Three could get us out of this. But it's too bad she had to realize jsut what it really means. Now she's probably going to hate herself almost as much as I hate myself-no one can hate themselves quite as much as I hate myself right now-for not being the one in Piper's place. Jsut like I do. _Walking over to the couch, Prue wrapped her arm around Paige's shoulder. 

            "Oh honey," she said softly, and Paige began to cry into her. "Oh honey." After crying for a while, Paige sniffed, and glanced down at her watch. 

            "Time for you to go switch with Phoebe." She said quietly. Prue nodded. 

            "Should I take the car, or do you want to orb me?" Paige cocked her head to the side, thinking. 

            "I can't sense anyone other than Phoebe in Piper's room right now," she finally answered, "so it'll be faster if I orb you there and then pick up Phoebe and orb us back here." Prue nodded again. Sometimes, when things were particularly busy at the hospital, and Paige couldn't find a safe spot to orb to, it was easier to jsut drive. Or when Prue and Phoebe were at the manor, and Paige was at the hospital, then they had to drive back, so that Piper wasn't alone. But it was always faster to orb, so now Prue was glad that things were calm and empty enough for them to be able to do so. 

            A few moments later, Prue and Paige were back at the hospital, in Piper's room. Seeing them enter, Phoebe rose from her chair and crossed over to Paige. Prue gave each sister a quick hug and a peck on the cheek, and watched as they disappeared in a swirl of blue lights. Settling down in the chair that Phoebe had vacated, Prue took up Piper's hand and began talking again. 

            Back at the manor, the two sisters split up. 

            "I'm going to go through Piper's stuff." Phoebe told Paige. "See if I can find anything new that might help jar her brain back into working again. You wanna help?" Paige shook her head. 

            "I'm gonna go back up to the Book, see if there is anything that I missed last time around. I'll be down when it's time to go again." Phoebe sighed, but let her sister go. Paige was so determined to find a magical way out of this. But after all that they had been through with magic, Phoebe didn't really think that was possible. Magic couldn't fix everything, and Phoebe had a strong feeling that this was one of those things that magic jsut couldn't help. She had tried mentioning this to Paige a few times, as had Prue, but Paige refused to listen. She was a woman on a mission, and no one could tell her that her mission was a lie. Shaking her head, Phoebe walked up the stairs and into Piper's room, hoping desperately to find her own way out of this.  

            Paige's flipping through the pages of the Book had become mechanical by now, she wasn't really registering what she saw on each page. Flip, look, shake head, flip look, shake head, flip, look…so she was looking at the pages, but wasn't really seeing them. So when she hit on the page that had a solution, she almost flipped right past it. In fact, the page was almost turned over when what was on it registered in her mind. 

            "Wai-wai-wai-wai-wait!" She gasped to herself, and flipped the page back, surveying it in mounting excitement. 

            "Oh my god, this is it! This'll work! Oh, thank god thank god thank god thank god thank god!" Ripping the page out from the book, Paige glanced around the room for supplies. There was only one thing here that she needed, the rest could be obtained from Piper's hospital room, in fact, would have to be. Orbing to her room to get the one thing she needed-it was amazing, really, that she still had it, after all these years-she then orbed to Phoebe to show her what she had found, and to take them back to Piper. And they had said that magic couldn't fix this! Paige giggled delightedly. Piper was going to be all right! Thank god, Piper was going to be all right! 


	11. What Happened

A/N: Sorries! When I got back from Tahoe, I could not for the life of me find the disc that had this chap saved on it…and then the other day my dad called from work and said that he had found some disc in his laptop that looked like it was probably mine. I'd forgotten that I had used his comp…my bad. But anyway, here it is…no promises about when the next chap is coming up. Again, I apologize for all of  the incorrect hospital stuff in here. And I'm just going to list names for my thank-yous here, cause I have three chaps of em to do, so…yeah.  Anyway, for chapter 8, thank you to **River Goddess, _Charmed fanatic_, Willow, _Wannabpiper_, Kangaroo_, princesscatie21_, line, _Witch_, p3halliwell1329, _Mell_y, and Francesca**. For chapter 9, thank you **wannabpiper, and _line_**. And for chapater 10, thank you to: **Wannabpiper, _princesscatie21_, Emma, _River Goddess_, Francesca, _Charmed Fanatic_, Susan, _misakichi_, angelwoowoo, _line_, kangaroo, _Emma_, piperperson, _jj_, and Shimmie**. And **jj**, for the second review that said it was for chapter one, but wasn't really. You guys are all the best!!!!!!! Especially for sticking with me despite how long my updates can take!!!!!!! 

Wannabpiper: hehe, you are the first person to comment on my "just!" I was wondering if someone ever would…Yes, it is on purpose…it's a twin thing. 

Charmed Writer: It's been a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really (wow, the word now has no meaning ) long time since I have talked to you!!!!!!!!!! I talked to Paige last night, and we were both talking about how much we missed you and how you're b-day is approaching…come home now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paige didn't give Phoebe a chance to say anything, jsut grabbed her arm and orbed back to the hospital with her. When they got there, the site they found shocked them. Prue-the unbreakable Prue, the Prue who insisted that they not cry in front of Piper in case it gave her the message that she wasn't going to be okay-was curled up next to Piper on the hospital bed, sobbing. Phoebe rushed over, worried. 

            "Prue?!" she said, grabbing her sister's arm, "Prue, honey, what happened? Come on, honey, talk to us!" Prue's body shook. 

            "I-it happened when you were gone, I tried and tried to call but I didn't get an answer. Piper, she-she started seizing up, her temperature soared so high, she was convulsing, a-and shaking, but she wasn't awake, she was still in the coma, and then and then…" Prue couldn't go on any further. Practically paralyzed in fear Phoebe asked the dreaded question. 

            "Oh God Prue, she's not, she didn't?" Prue didn't answer, jsut let the tears continue to roll down her cheeks. 

            It was then that the beeping of the heart monitor managed to seep into Paige's consciousness. Phoebe seemed to notice it as well, for she suddenly sagged with relief, sinking down into the chair. 

            "Prue, if she's not…if she's still with us, then what's wrong? What is it that you're not telling us?" Prue took a deep breath, steadying her nerves. 

            "The doctors said-they said that even though she was in a coma, she was still feeling intense pain. They hadn't told us that before, because there was still a slight chance that she might wake up, so they couldn't…it would have been against the law to…so there was no point in…"

            "Prue, you aren't making any sense." Phoebe said sharply. "Finish your sentences. And what do you mean that there _was_ a slight chance that she still might wake up?" Prue sniffed, and looked hopelessly at Phoebe. 

            "They said that after what happened jsut now, Piper went into a new stage in the coma. They said that there is absolutely no chance left for her to wake up. And because she is in so much pain…they think that we should take her off life-support! They think we should kill her!" Phoebe turned very pale, and her eyes stared off into space. 

            "No." She whimpered. "Please no. Nonononononono…" Paige felt as though she was going to throw up. This couldn't be happening. Not to Piper. Not to the best of them. She stood there, in absolute shock, for a good five minutes before finally remembering what it was she had come here to do. When she did remember, she almost started to cry…this time from happiness and relief. 

            "But we can save her!" She cried out. "It doesn't have to be like this-there was a spell in the Book, I finally found something that would work, it's called…" 

            "The Awakening spell." Prue's voice was dead and flat, and showed none of he excitement and relief that Paige had been expecting to hear. Paige nodded.

            "Yes, exactly. It'll…" Paige broke off, suddenly.  "Wait a minute. If you know about the spell…why didn't you bring it up before? We could have already had Piper back by now! We could have…"

            "She didn't bring it up because we couldn't have used it." Phoebe broke in.

            "Still can't." Prue added, in a voice barely above a whisper. Paige looked back and forth between the two.

            "B-but I don't understand. If it could save her…how could we not use it?" Prue sighed.

            "The consequences are too great…"

            "Screw the consequences!" This last remark of Paige's brought a ghost of a wry smile to Phoebe's lips, as she remember when she herself made that remark."

            "We can't. Trust us Paige, we learned that lesson the hard way. We can't save Piper's life at the expense of countless innocents, and we can't save her life jsut to result in the possibility of our secret being exposed." Paige shook her head, hope rapidly disappearing. 

            "But she's our sister…"

            "A sister who would not appreciate being saved while innocents die because of it. She blames herself for so many deaths already; we don't need to pile more onto her. It would probably jsut send her over the edge again, and we would be no better off then we are now. In fact, it would be worse, because we would have lost Piper again, and others would have died for nothing." 

            "I know it's hard to accept." Phoebe told her gently. "It was for us too. It was the first time, and it was this time. But we don't have a choice. And the sooner we come to terms with that, the better." A tear slowly began to roll down Paige's cheek. 

            "I can't believe we're going to lose her. What are we going to do?" The other two shook their heads. 

            "For starters, we need to make a decision about what the doctor told me." Prue said, her voice breaking in pain. 

            "What decision?" Phoebe demanded. "It's bad enough that we're pretty much killing her by refusing to do the spell that could save her life. You can't possibly be considering telling the doctor to pull the plugs?!" Prue sighed, as a few stray tears slid down her cheeks. 

            "I don't know." She whispered. "When they first mentioned it, when I first thought about it, I thought the same thing you did-no decision necessary. But now, after thinking about it for a little while…she's in pain, Phoebe. And she's not going to die naturally. The doctors told me that as long as she is hooked up to these machines they will keep her alive. But she's never going to wake up. Is it really fair to condemn her to an eternity of pain, when we could give her release?" Phoebe shook her head. 

            "I can't jsut tell them to let her go. I can't. Paige?" Phoebe turned to her younger sister for support, but Paige shook her head as well. 

            "Honestly, I-I don't know what to say. Both sides make sense, and both seem so wrong. It's jsut a-a lose/lose situation. We jsut need to decide which will be the easier loss to live with. It'll need some discussing." Prue nodded. 

            "Whatever we do, it should be an unanimous decision though." She said. "We won't make a final decision until all of us are in agreement." 

            "Okay." Phoebe said softly. "We should probably start discussing it soon though. Before I-before any of us-really lose it." 

            It took a week before they were able to reach a final solution. Even then, it still felt wrong. But as Paige had said, it was a lose/lose situation. Now, huddled together with her sisters on the edge of Piper's bed, Prue pressed the call button for the nurse, and asked her to send in the doctor. He entered, and Prue took a deep breath. 

            "We've reached our decision." 


	12. The Decision

A/N: Hehe…I wrote this like a week or more ago, and then completely forgotted that I hadn't actually updated…I was wondering why I hadn't gotten any reviews for this chap…*is stupid, but twin won't accept that, so is out of it instead* Anyways, thank you very much to piper132, line, sara, sara, pippergurl, piper*halliwell11, charmed_freak454, charmedfanatic12, willow, Francesca, reader, misakichi1, Charmed Princess, Charmed Writer (screw the new one, to me, you are the only CW, so there is no need for the one!) princess catie21, Alcandre, notcreative, piperperson, Melly1 (someone steal your name two?) Susan, line, Gitte, Emma, Angelwoowoo, X5-343, wannabpiper, and witch, for reviewing. Jeez there are a lot of you! I had to give up on person thanks cause there are jsut so many…I love you all! Thanks for sticking with me! 

Charmed Writer: Thank you so much for reading this and telling me it was alright! I hope that it makes others cry two…(since that is like the highest form of the compliment) and that it doesn't jsut confuzzle them…anywho, this chapter is dedicated to you all the way!!!!!!!!!! PTTT!!!!!!!!!!

                The sisters sat around Piper's hospital bed, almost forming a circle. The doctor had given them some time alone with her after they had made their decision. None of them could really believe that this was it between them, between all four of them as sisters. The end of the charmed ones. They couldn't believe that they were actually saying good-bye.

For that was the decision that they had made. Piper was in so much pain, it was impossible to look the other way anymore. And since she really truly never was going to get better…well, when they actually really thought about it, there was only one decision that they could possibly make. They had to let her go. Even if it hurt like hell for them to do so.

 So now, here they were, sitting around their sister's lifeless body, attempting to do the impossible. Say good-bye. But even though they knew that time was running out, that this was their last chance to talk to Piper while she was still bodily here…none of them could say a word. There was so much to say, but no one could make themselves utter it. So they sat here in silence, not looking at each other, not holding hands, not even touching Piper, and lastly, not saying a word. Until, suddenly, Phoebe began to sing. 

Flashback

            Eleven year old Phoebe Halliwell stared pleadingly at Prue, her tear-filled eyes boring holes into her sister's. 

            "Please Prue." She begged, not breaking her gaze. "You know it would help. You know it would! How can you possibly be saying no?" Prue sighed.

            "I couldn't do this even if I wanted to Phoebe. I can't sing. You know that. I would jsut…deafen her or something." Phoebe snorted, unimpressed. 

            "You can so sing. You were great at it in the hospital with me. You have a beautiful voice. It comes with being a Halliwell." Prue had to smile slightly at the slight tone of conceit in her little sister's voice. Phoebe, noticing the giggle, decided to take it as a form of weakness in her sister's argument, a sign of the acquiescence she knew that she was going to get. Eventually, anyway. 

            "So you'll do it?" Phoebe asked eagerly. Prue sighed again.

            "I already told you, no. Even if I did agree, it's not like it would do anything. Nothing has made her come out of her depression yet, what makes you think that a stupid little song will do so?" Now it was Phoebe's turn to sigh.

            "Oh I don't know Prue, maybe because the two of us singing to her was the only thing that brought any reaction, however small, out of her in the hospital?" Prue hated to admit that Phoebe was right.

            "Yeah, well, maybe it did. But if you are so determined to do this, why do you need me? Why can't you jsut do it yourself?" Phoebe immediately shook her head.

            "Because it has to be both of us. Both of us, working together, not fighting, but being together, to get her to snap out of it. Our fighting has always hurt her Prue…you know that as well as I do. That's why its so important for us to be in this together. For Piper." 

            "The people at school would slaughter me if I did it." Prue stated baldly. "Singing in public at all would be bad, but singing at some dorky "Elementary, junior high, and high school concert," with my little sister…well, it would be suic…" Prue broke of before she could finish her sentence, flushing. It was amazing how easy that word popped out when you didn't really mean it. Something she hadn't even noticed until this whole thing with Piper had…happened. Glancing at her baby sister, Prue could see that Phoebe was glaring at her.

            "Well excuse me if I don't give a shit about the reactions of people at school." She stated bitterly. "Because in case you forgot, it is mainly because of "people at school" that Piper is in this…situation…in the first place. So if you still give a damn about what they think, then…then…" Phoebe's voice was shaking, and Prue felt a sudden rush of sympathy toward her. Her face flushed with embarrassment, and Prue pulled her into a hug. 

            "You're right." She whispered. "I'm sorry, of course you're right. And I'm sorry for the way I've been acting, I've been…a jerk. Of course I'll sing the song with you. Forgive me?" Sniffing, Phoebe leaned into Prue's embrace, and nodded slightly. Prue shook her head in wonderment. 

            "How did I get such a smart sister, anyways?" Prue asked her softly. "Here you are, five years younger than me, and yet you are making far better decisions about this situation than I am. How do you do it?" Phoebe sniffed again.

            "Honestly? I'm jsut trying to do what Piper would."

            Piper sat in the hard metal chair in the school's auditorium, wringing her hands in her lap. She did not want to be here. Coming back here, to the school, and the people, facing everybody…it was terrifying. But Prue and Phoebe had mysteriously insisted, and since Piper wasn't talking, she could hardly argue. She was trying to jsut shut it all out, honestly. 

That's what she did with most of her life now. It was too much for her, to hard to deal with. So she jsut zoned out, so that she was unaware of her surroundings and the people around her. She sensed that this was hard on her sisters…but as much as a part of her wanted to talk, she honestly couldn't. She jsut couldn't seem to be able to conjure up the energy necessary to do so. She was stuck, floating around in this blurred zoned out world of hers, and for the life of her, she couldn't seem to find a connection that would bring her back into the real world, something to anchor her to reality. It didn't help that a big part of her didn't want to find that anchor. Suddenly, the lights dimmed, and the show began.

            It was mostly the elementary school kids who were performing. The kids in junior high and high school found themselves "too cool" for the district talent show, they seemed to think it would be beneath them to perform. By the last act, everything in Piper was screaming for her to leave. The lack of talent in the show gave her little to focus on, little to take her mind off of all of the constant whispering that was around her. Whispering about her. People weren't even trying to be discreet. But then, when it came to her, they never did. Being discreet wasn't the point. The point was for her to hear them, to be hurt by their words. The last act came on stage, but Piper wasn't looking. She was staring at the ground, trying to make the voices go away. Soon. She could leave soon. Piper wished that her sister's hadn't left, but they had gotten up and walked away a few moments ago, muttering about something they had to do really quickly. 

            "We would like to dedicate this next song to our sister, Piper Halliwell." Prue's strong, clear voice rang through the auditorium, and Piper's head jerked up in shock. Prue was up on stage, with Phoebe. 

            "We love you honey." That was Phoebe. Her voice, like Prue's, was loud, and carried easily through the room. Then the chords of the song began to drift from the piano. Her sisters' eyes sought and found Piper's in the crowd, and as the last opening chords struck, they began to sing, Phoebe starting, Prue following, both of their voices joining in the chorus.

            "When darkness falls, upon your heart and soul, I'll be the light that shines for you."

            "When you forget how beautiful you are, I'll be there to remind you"

            "When you can't find your way I'll find my way to you."

            "When trouble comes around, I will come, to you." 

            "I'll be your shoulder, when you need someone to lean on, be your shelter when you need someone to see you through, I'll be there to carry your I'll be there, I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, the one that will hold onto you, when you feel that rain, falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be."

            "And when you feel your faith is running low, I'll be there to believe in you."

            "And when you're there with no one there to hold, I'll be the arms that reach for you."

            "When all you find are lies I'll be the truth you need."

            "When you need someone to run to, you can run to me." 

            "I'll be your shoulder, when you need someone to lean on, be your shelter when you need someone to see you through, I'll be there to carry your I'll be there, I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, the one that will hold onto you, when you feel that rain, falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be."

            "I'll be the sun, when you're heart is filled with rain."

            "I'll be the one, to chase the rain away." 

            "I'll be your shoulder, when you need someone to lean on, be your shelter when you need someone to see you through, I'll be there to carry your I'll be there, I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, the one that will hold onto you, when you feel that rain, falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be."

            "I'll be."

            "I'll be." When her sisters had finished singing, Piper could hardly see her eyes were so misted with tears. Rising unsteadily to her feet, she shakily made her way down the aisle, only one destination in mind, her sisters. Both had jumped of the stage at the end of the song, and were hurrying toward her as well. The sisters met halfway, oblivious to the stares and comments of the people around them. Piper flung herself into their arms, finally giving herself up to the tears. 

            "T-thank you." She whispered, the first words that she had uttered since leaving the hospital. They were simple words, probably said millions of times a day, in all of the languages, all over the world. But to Prue and Phoebe, these two words were more precious than gold. The sound of their sweet middle sister's voice, after so much silence, was breathtaking in its beauty. Laughing and crying at the same time, Prue and Phoebe held on tightly to their Piper, vowing never to let her go again.

End Flashback

            The song had been used many more times throughout their lives. It was their special song for her, their song to try and let her know how special she was to them. Whenever Piper needed a pick-me-up, needed something to make her feel better, they sang it too her. One or both, whoever was available at the time. Although it was always more special when they both did it, as a duet, like they had done at the concert that day. 

            Now, as Phoebe sat next to Piper's hospital bed, she couldn't come up with the words to tell her most loved sister good-bye forever. She couldn't have said what it was that made her think of singing the song. After all, in some ways, the song felt like a promise to Piper, a promise that she had broken. And yet, it still seemed right. It seemed like…well, it really seemed like the only right way she could say good-bye. And from the way Prue picked right on during her part, it was obvious she felt the same way. Both of their voices were cracked, strained with emotion. They didn't always hit their notes now, it was too hard through the tears. But they were there for her, and they were singing. 

            "When darkness falls, upon your heart and soul, I'll be the light that shines for you."

            "When you forget how beautiful you are, I'll be there to remind you"

            "When you can't find your way I'll find my way to you."

            "When trouble comes around, I will come, to you." 

            "I'll be your shoulder, when you need someone to lean on, be your shelter when you need someone to see you through, I'll be there to carry your I'll be there, I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, the one that will hold onto you, when you feel that rain, falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be."

            "And when you feel your faith is running low, I'll be there to believe in you."

            "And when you're there with no one there to hold, I'll be the arms that reach for you."

            "When all you find are lies I'll be the truth you need."

            "When you need someone to run to, you can run to me." 

            "I'll be your shoulder, when you need someone to lean on, be your shelter when you need someone to see you through, I'll be there to carry your I'll be there, I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, the one that will hold onto you, when you feel that rain, falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be."

            "I'll be the sun, when you're heart is filled with rain."

            "I'll be the one, to chase the rain away." 

            "I'll be your shoulder, when you need someone to lean on, be your shelter when you need someone to see you through, I'll be there to carry your I'll be there, I'll be the rock that will be strong for you, the one that will hold onto you, when you feel that rain, falling down, when there's nobody else around, I'll be."

            "I'll be."

            "I'll be."


	13. The Past

A/N: Well, here is the next chap…sorries, I was away on vacation, and the first half of it was saved on this comp, so I couldn't work on it until I got home today. I hope that you guys like it…I've been toying with this idea for awhile and finally managed to get something out of it. I hope that it's not two confuzzling…if it is, jsut tell me so in a review, and I will try and explain. Oh, and I cannot BELIEVE that I forgot to tell you the title and singer of the song in the last chap! * is stupid, but twin doesn't like that, so is out of it * Anywho, it was I'll Be, and the singer is Reba. Very good song. Let's see, what else…I have not given up on BIM, I do intend to finish it, I'm jsut waiting until I finish this one…*****is not good at multitasking. * And as for Leo…well, honestly, I'm not sure when he is coming back. Prolly not until the story after next…or the end of the next. I think this story is coming to a close soon…but then, I thought that about SO, and then there ended up being like five more chapters. Now for the thank you's:

**Crash and Burn, Piperperson, Willow, Witch, Revul, Francesca, Iheartgreenday, Charmed Writer, Heart Affire, Pippergurl, Gitte, Piper101, Emma, Charmed Princess, Line, jj, Susan, AngelWooWoo, Charmed Fanatic, Magical Princess, SamAscaquelle, GuardianAngel1 and avi23** were all twintastic and reviewd chapter 12!!! Everyone cheer for them, because with out reviews, I wouldn't bother posting. (I would just send it to Twin and sissies) Anywho, you all are the bestest!!!

**Charmed Writer**: Well, here is the chap…I guess it took me a little longer than I expected to finish, but hey, it's here! And very confuzzling…I hope that it is understandable. Hope that the (i)(i) start working for ya soon, cause I can't wait to read more of your stuff!!! ttyimh and lwyimh!!! PTTT!!!!!!!! 

December 10, 1990

                Phoebe wandered listlessly through the hospital corridors. Piper had been brought in after her…attempt…over a week ago, and so far there was no change in her unconscious position. If anything, she seemed to be getting worse. Phoebe sighed. She wanted to be in there now, in her sister's room, giving Piper her support, but Prue had insisted that she go to the hospital cafeteria and get something to eat.

"I know that all of this has unfairly aged you beyond your years," Prue had told her, "but like it or not, you are still really only eleven years old. You're body needs nourishment. It won't do me, Grams, or Piper any good to have you wind up in your own hospital room." So Phoebe had finally, albeit reluctantly, agreed, and now here she was, wandering into the cafeteria about to force herself to choke down some shitty hospital food that would probably do her more hard than good. 

After picking up her tray of food, Phoebe's eyes wearily scanned the room for somewhere to sit. There were no empty tables, but her eyes finally lit upon one that had only one other person as an occupant, a young girl probably a few years younger than Phoebe. Approaching the table, Phoebe forced herself to smile. It felt weird and unnatural-after all she didn't exactly have anything to smile about these days-but she couldn't very well try and get herself a seat by scowling. Besides, something about the young girl appealed to Phoebe, in a way that she couldn't describe.

"Hi." Phoebe said, as she walked up. "My name's Phoebe. Do you mind if I sit here? All of the other tables seem to be taken." The girl shook her head. 

"No, you can sit here. I'm Paige." Phoebe sat down, and for a few moments, the two simply sat in silence, each picking through their food, neither really eating anything. Finally Paige looked up, and met Phoebe's eyes.

"Why are you here?" She asked, her voice quiet and tired. She was obviously jsut trying to do something to make the silence go away, Phoebe could tell that it had made her uncomfortable. Still, Phoebe swallowed convulsively.

"My sister's…hurt…and we're waiting for her to get better." Tears came unbidden to Phoebe's eyes, and she brushed them away angrily. She did not need to cry in front of this little girl. Trying to get her mind off of Piper, she asked Paige a question instead.

"Why are you here?" Paige sniffed. 

"My grandfather had a heart attack. He's in a coma. They won't let me in his room, they say that unless you are over 16, only immediate family can visit him. And apparently granddaughters don't count as immediate, so they won't let me in." Phoebe felt her heart ache for Paige, this little girl who she barely even knew. It wasn't right that words such as coma should be coming out of her mouth with such expertise, such ease. But then, none of this was right, none of this was fair. This was jsut one example of many over how unfair it really was. 

After Phoebe had forced down as much food as she could stomach, which wasn't much, she rose to go. 

"Well," Phoebe said haltingly, "I guess I should be getting back. It was nice meeting you Paige." Paige nodded, eyes down on her plate.

"Yeah," she said softly, "nice meeting you too." Phoebe turned to go, but had only walked a couple steps away when she was seized by a sudden impulse. 

"Hey," she said turning back,  "do you want to come back to my sister's room with me? It'll at least give you something to do while you wait." Paige looked surprised. 

"Will they let me do that?" Phoebe shook her head.

"Probably not, but I bet I can get you in without anyone noticing. Anyways, we look fairly similar, so we can always jsut say that we're both her sister. What do you say?"

"Sure." Paige agreed finally, "I'd like that."  

            Prue glanced up in Piper's room, surprised to see Phoebe with another girl. Sure, she had known Phoebe was social, but to be able to make friends in a hospital…plus, this girl looked to be several years younger than Phoebe, and Phoebe was currently in that stage where she frowned upon hanging out with anyone younger than herself, thinking that she was too "mature" to do so. So it was interesting to see her hovering so protectively around this strange younger girl. 

_Although_, Prue mused, _maybe not so strange…she looks so familiar, but I know I have never seen her before in my life…weird_. 

"This is Paige." Phoebe told Prue, indicating the girl beside her. "We met in the cafeteria. I thought she might like to hang out with us for a while.  Prue smiled at Paige, struggling to make it look genuine. It wasn't that she had anything against this Paige girl, it was jsut that smiles in general were so hard to come by these days. Retreating back into her thoughts of guilt and self-blame for the incident, Prue took little notice of Phoebe crawling onto her lap. It had been Phoebe's spot of choice these last few days…and Prue had to admit that she probably got as much comfort out of it as her baby sister did. Absentmindedly wrapping one arm around her baby sister, Prue gripped Piper's hand's in her other one, and tuned out again. 

            Before climbing into the refuge that her big sister's lap provided, Phoebe pulled up a chair next to Prue's for Paige to sit in, and after the two settled down in their respective seats, she took Paige's hand in one of her own, and took Piper's free hand in her other. Something about this girl jsut made Phoebe really want to protect her, to take away the hurt that she could see in Paige's face. Phoebe didn't know what it was about her that was so familiar, but whatever it was…

Smiling at Paige half-heartedly, (smiles were jsut about as hard for her as they were for Prue), Phoebe lifted up the Piper's hand. 

"Paige, meet our sister Piper. Piper, meet Paige." Paige smiled in sympathy at the hear-broken tone that Phoebe was trying so hard to cover up.

"Nice to meet you Piper," she said, and then she placed her hand on Piper in greeting. 

The flash of light was so blinding that it took the girls several minutes to be able to see again. When they did, all three stared in shock. Piper slowly blinked her eyes, looked around in scared confusion. Both Prue and Phoebe were speechless, hardly able to process what had jsut happened. Finally,

"Piper?" Prue whimpered, and both sisters fell on her, sobbing incoherently. 

            Paige slowly backed out of the door, unnoticed. That light had come out of her hands!!!!!!!!!!! The light that had flashed before Piper had woken up…she had done that!!!!!!!!!! Seriously freaked, Paige turned on her heal and dashed out of the hospital. 

            When Grams came into Piper's room maybe a half an hour later, it was to find all three of her granddaughter's asleep on Piper's hospital bed. The hospital had called and told her the good news…god, was it good news. Ever since her white lighter, Jonathan, had informed her that he wasn't able to heal Piper because she wasn't his charge, and of the fact that even if he was, white lighters couldn't heal self inflicted wounds, she seriously doubted that Piper would be able to  pull out of this. It had broken her heart, but she jsut didn't know how it would work. IT seemed as though the future granddaughter's that had come to the past as adults would never actually happen. Their coming back must have been enough of a change to set the past on a different path, one where it wasn't guaranteed that Piper would survive.

            And yet, somehow, she had, and Grams couldn't begin to express how that made her feel. Shaking her head in wonder and relief, Grams brushed a piece of hair off of Piper's sleeping-really sleeping!-face. While doing so, she noticed that Phoebe was about to tumble off of the slim hospital bed, and she gently tried to shift her youngest granddaughter back into a more secure position.

            Phoebe blinked sleepily as she was moved, and seeing Grams above her she smiled drowsily.

"She woke up, Grams." Phoebe whispered. "She woke up." Grams nodded, tears in her eyes.

"Yes, the hospital told me. But when…how…?" Phoebe shook her head, obviously still not quite awake yet. 

"That girl did something…I brought her in here, cause she was lonely, and introduced her to Piper. Then she touched her, and there was this huge white light, and then…Piper was awake." Phoebe shook her head, to sleepy to really contemplate it.

"At least, I think that's what happened.  She's gone now…I don't know when she left. She must not have been real though. I guess we jsut met Piper's guardian angel, huh?" Grams looked at Phoebe sharply.

"You said that white light came out of her hands? What was her name?" Phoebe sighed.

"You don't believe me. Prue could tell you, but she is probably going to convince herself that it didn't happen. Anyway, her name was Paige. Paige Mathews." 

Grams paced nervously up and down the hospital corridors, waiting for Jonathan. White light coming out of her hands jsut before Piper woke up…and her name started with a P…but they didn't know jsut what happened to the baby, so she couldn't be sure!!! Still, Grams was willing to bet that she was right on this one…and if she was right, then she needed someone's help, and to get to that person, she needed Jonathan. 

            Grams sighed in relief to see in white lighter approaching her from the other end of the corridor, and she rushed up to him hurriedly. 

"Jonathan, I need you to take me to Sam."

            It had taken her a couple of minutes to get him to do as she asked…after all, she couldn't very well give him any details here, just tell him that it was important. Finally, he had given in and done as she asked. Now, she rushed into Sam's small cabin by the lake, startling him out of a nap.

"Penny?" He narrowed his eyes at her, "what on earth are you doing here?" 

"I need your help Sam. I know that even though you still clipped your wings you have some of that dust lying around…I need to use some, and I need it now." Sam looked away.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He told her flatly. Grams swore under her breath.

"Dammit Sam, I don't have a lot of time! The girls found your daughter-their sister-or she found them, or they found each other, and being together…well, the girl HEALED someone, and they all saw it. And it's too early for this, they aren't ready yet. I need that dust, and you are going to give it to me, or I am going to make you." Staring at Penny in shock, Sam rifled through his draws and pulled out a small sack. He poured out some of its contents into another container, and handed it to Grams.

"Don't hurt her." Grams shook her head mutely, and went back outside to find Jonathan and have him take her back to the hospital.

            Luckily, the girls were still sleeping when she got back, so it was no trouble for Grams to sprinkle the dust over them so that they would forget how Piper managed to wake up. Getting hold of Paige, however, was another story.  She couldn't very well summon her as a witch, since technically, she wasn't one yet…Grams wasn't really sure just how Paige's powers had escaped the binding spell, maybe the four sisters together were strong enough to overcome it…so she would have to summon her some other way. 

            Grams finally came to the decision that the simplest solution was really the best one. Heading the lobby, she told the receptionist that she was a friend of the Mathews, and would like to visit the sick party. The receptionist told her the room number, and Grams headed up, waiting outside for Paige to return from…wherever it was she must have run off too. 

            Fortunately, it didn't take long, and Paige was too surprised to put up a struggle as Grams whisked her into an empty and unseen room. Blowing the  dust into her face before Paige even had time to open her mouth, Grams erased Paige's memory of ever meeting her sisters. Then, before Paige could wake up from the trancelike state the dust put her into for a few moments, she whisked her back to jsut outside of her family's room, and headed briskly back to her other granddaughters.

Present Time

            Paige's eyes teared at the emotion in her sisters' voices as they sang, and teared at what all this suggested. She was going to lose her big sister…forever. After they finished singing, Paige smiled faintly at her sister through her tears.

            "Good bye Piper," She said softly, and laid her hand on Piper.


	14. In Her Mind

AN: Hey everybody!! Sorries that it took me awhile…major writer's block. I got less than a fourth of the way through here and I jsut completely blanked…so I don't know how quality this chapter is. You guys will have to tell me. Not sure how much of this there is left…guess I'll jsut take it as it comes! Anywho, hope ya like it!

Thank you to: **Witch, Crash and Burn, Willow, P3Halliwell1329, line, Charmed Writer, Piper132, AngelWooWoo, Charming Tess, Pippergurl, piperperson, Revul, Charmed Princess, Gitte, Fury Piper, Charmed Fanatic, and Emma, for all reviewing**. You guys are the bestest!!!!

Sissies: Well, as I told you, I am off to my camping trip today, so I won't talk to you guys til Tuesday at the earliest. Miss ya all and luv ya lotz…maybe we can have another tickling/pillow fight when I get back. (6)(6)…hehe *is evil*

Charmed Writer: Wow, I did it! And I made my word count, two!!! *is proud*** **arg…it keeps thinking that is a shortcut for making everything bold…stupid comp. Anywho, I am really going to miss you on the camping trip…ick. Ttyimh and lwyimh lotz and lotz…*megamegamegamegamega hugz twin* luv ya! PTTT!!!

Piper grimaced in pain, as she stared around her. She was surrounding by howling winds and creaking trees, and her entire body was screaming in pain. A part of her knew that none of this was real…that she was really unconscious somewhere, laying on some hospital bed, and that this was just her mind's way of making what her body was going through visual. _Well, I certainly managed to make it visual enough…I wish my brain could have made it a less so_. 

            She was stuck in some kind of patch of thorns, thorns that were encompassing her entire body, digging into and cutting her skin. Piper could see a light ahead of her, a warm, welcoming light. She knew that that light was death, that once she died, that was where she could go. However, the thorns were preventing her from getting there. There were fewer thorns behind her than in front, and Piper knew that to fight her way back there would mean finding herself awake in whatever hospital room she was in. Piper thought she could probably do it…as weak as she was, and as much pain as she was in, if she really wanted to badly enough, she could probably make it back there. The problem was, she wasn't sure that she wanted it badly enough. Sure, this time around she hadn't been trying to kill herself, she hadn't wanted things to come this far. But now that they had…Piper didn't think that she had the energy to go back and try again to make things right. Why couldn't she jsut give up already? Wasn't there allowed to be a limit to how much she could willingly subject herself too? But if she couldn't go forward and she wouldn't go back, where did that leave her? Here, in this hellhole? Forever? 

            Despite what people said about people in comas, Piper could not hear everything that her sisters were saying to her. She could hear their voices, as a kind of background noise, but could rarely, if ever, distinguish individual words. But when they started singing to her…suddenly, everything became crystal clear. 

            By the time that they had finished, Piper had tears pouring down her cheeks, tears that weren't from the bodily pain that she was feeling, but tears of relief. One thing was certain now; she couldn't give up on them. Or herself. Shortly after Piper opened her mind to this revelation, she felt some kind of electric charge go through her body, a charge that took away all of her physical pain. And then everything went white…

            Paige jerked her hand back in shock as all of the machines started to go haywire, flashing and letting off shrill noises. Phoebe let out a moan of pain and fear, and Prue's eyes flew wide open. 

            "Help!" Prue cried out, her voice hoarse from crying and fear. "Somebody, please help us!" She hadn't even finished her first sentence when multiple doctors and nurses came rushing into her sister's room, apparently alerted by beeping and flashing on their monitors. 

            The three sisters barely had time to draw a breath before they were all whisked out of Piper's room and into the waiting room. Paige blinked repeatedly, and raised her eyes to meet Prue's. 

            "Wh-what jsut happened there?" Prue shook her head, and raised her hand up to her face, impatiently brushing tears out of her eyes. 

            "I-I don't know. We were all shoved out of there so fast…you didn't sense anything?" Paige shook her head as well, sinking into a nearby chair. 

            "I felt-something-but I'm not sure how to describe it. I'm not even sure if it's real, I could have jsut been imagining it…but, when I touched her, you guys saw the light flash, right?" They both nodded, trying to see where Paige was going with this. "Well, at the moment of contact, I could feel something in me-except not in me, exactly-rip, I guess. I felt something, some connection, snap." Paige's voice broke. "What if that was our connection to her? What if I-I killed her?" 

            "Oh honey…" Phoebe said softly, and walking over to Paige, she wrapped her arms around her little sister. The two of them cried together, each clinging to the other, trying comfort in their time of fear. Prue looked at them both, rooted to the spot. A part of her wanted to go over there and join in, but another part was telling her to stay back, keep her emotions in check. Besides, a part of her-well, as guilty as she felt about it, a part of her couldn't help but think that Paige might be right. Not that her youngest sister would have meant to do that, obviously, but…Prue shook her head firmly. _No. Paige did not kill Piper. What happened with the light and the…snap…was purely a coincidence. It had to be_. Walking over to the bench, Prue sat down and wrapped her arm around the huddle that was her sisters. Paige sniffed, and leaned into her sisters.

            "I wouldn't think I was right, but…right before I touched her I said 'good-bye.' What if that released her somehow? What if, instead of healing her, I healed whatever it was that was preventing her from moving on?" Prue and Phoebe's eyes met over the top of their youngest sister's head, both sets of eyes filled with worry and despair. 

            "You didn't do anything wrong Paige." Prue said finally, stroking Paige's hair. "I promise you didn't do anything wrong." 

None of the sisters could voice what they hoped this was all about…that Paige's powers had actually worked the way they were supposed to, had actually healed Piper. After all, if they hadn't…well, better not to get their hopes up. But as much as they each told themselves this, they could not get either possibility out of their minds. 

            In some ways, it was a little strange how terrified they all were. After all, hadn't they been planning on pretty much killing her in a few hours anyway…so why couldn't they accept the fact that it was very likely happening now instead? But it was different somehow, and now, they were every bit as terrified as they had been when they had first found Piper. 

            It was hours later before the doctor finally emerged from Piper's room and came over to talk to them. He looked weary, exhausted, completely drained, and on seeing him, Prue felt her heart sank. It was over. Why else would he look like that? In some ways, it had been over ever since they had chosen to…let Piper go, but now…it really was final. And as much as she hated herself for it, Prue was a little glad. Not glad that she had lost her sister, obviously…but glad that they hadn't had to go through with actually unplugging her. Glad that that decision, at least, had been taking out of her hands. Prue could feel herself shutting down as the doctor got closer and closer, came closer and closer to where he would be able to share the news that she already knew in her heart of hearts.

            But to all of their surprise, when the doctor arrived, he broke into a giant smile.

            "I finally have some good news for you girls." He told them, still beaming. "Your sister, Piper, has…well, she hasn't quite woken up yet, but she has pulled out of the coma. We believe she is going to make it."

            If Prue hadn't already been sitting down, she was sure that she would have collapsed. From the looks on her sisters' faces, it was apparent they felt much the same way. 

            "M-make it?" Phoebe trembled, not really sure if she could believe what she was hearing. "You're serious? She's really going to w-wake up, and be ok? W-we get our sister back?" Smiling warmly at her, the doctor knelt and took one of Phoebe's trembling hands in his own.

            "That's what it looks like, yes. Nothing is ever for certain, of course…but your sister now has a ninety-five percent chance of surviving. It really is a miracle-I have been practicing medicine for twenty years and haven't seen anything like it. Her body just suddenly decided to start fighting with everything it's worth, and it won. In jsut a few seconds really, it made one final bid for freedom, and it won. All of the beeping and flashing that you saw on the monitors was informing us that her condition had changed, that she no longer needed so much done for her. I'm sorry if they scared you." 

            "The snap." Paige murmured to herself, and the others nodded. The doctor looked at them questioningly, but Prue merely shook her head and changed the subject. 

            "Can we see her?" She asked quietly. He nodded.

            "Of course. She won't wake up for some time, some of the medication we had to give her is ensuring that, but you can go over as soon as you want."

            "We'd like to now." Prue told him, and they all rose. 

            "She's in the same room as she was before. If you need anything, or have any other questions, please feel free to have one of the nurses call me. If nothing comes up, then I'll be back to check on your sister in a few hours."

            "Thank you doctor." Prue told him, and after Paige and Phoebe echoed her response, they all headed back to Piper's room. 

            Piper didn't actually look any different than she had when she was in the coma. There were a few less machines in the room, but that was really all there was to inform them that their sister was now actually sleeping. After about a half an hour of restlessly mobbing around Piper's room, Phoebe sighed, grabbed her purse, and stood up.

            "Come on." She told her sisters. "We aren't doing anything here, and she's not going to wake up for awhile yet." Paige looked at her blankly.

            "Yeah, but…we can't jsut go home. We should stay here."

            "Going home wasn't exactly what I had in mind. We don't even need to leave the hospital. Come on, it'll be fun." Prue rolled her eyes, but she found herself getting caught up in the excitement and slight mystery in Phoebe's voice.

            "We don't even know what you have planned here." Prue told her, eyebrows raised as she stood up."

            "You'll see in a minute." Grabbing her sisters' hands, Phoebe pulled them out of Piper's room and out into the hall.  

            They returned about two hours later, each practically collapsing from the dozens of bags that they were holding. Bags filled with cards, stuffed animals, pillows, and streamers, everything that they had been able to think of to make Piper's hospital room a bit more cheery. They had bought dozens of flower bouquets and about fifty million balloons as well, but they had had those delivered, and were already sitting in the room when the girls returned. After arranging everything perfectly, Paige and Phoebe flopped dramatically onto the small couch, leaning against each other and making a big show of breathing heavily. Prue sank down more quietly into one of the chairs. Now that the shock of realizing that Piper would be ok, and her flurry of activity was over, she could feel new worries begin to seep their way into her consciousness. Paige glanced over at her oldest sister and cocked her head.

            "Penny for your thoughts." She said teasingly. Prue forced a smile at her.

"Trust me, they aren't worth it. Let's not spoil all of the nice stuff that's been happening now." 

Phoebe frowned at her. "You're worried about something. We can see that. Now spill." Prue sighed, and considered resisting, but then caved in. She didn't really feel like arguing. Not now.

            "It's jsut…now that things are starting to calm down a little, I'm beginning to worry about Piper again. I mean, I know that physically, the doctor said that she was going to be okay. But emotionally…I'm jsut wondering what the consequences are going to be this time." 

            "Consequences?" Paige asked, looking a little confused. Phoebe nodded slightly, understanding, but she didn't speak, so Prue continued.

            "Yeah. This sort of thing always comes with a consequence. When she was fourteen, after those guys…well, after that, she got panic attacks. Then, after she was in the hospital from her…attempt… she stopped talking, and…it took a lot to get her to start again. Then the whole thing with Cole and you guys gave her migraines, not normal ones, but…well, let's jsut say bad ones. Really bad. Losing Leo and the baby resulted in dizzy spells, and…I jsut don't know what will happen now. What's going to be the consequence this time? What else is she going to have to go through?" Prue's voice broke at the end, and Paige reached over to grab her hand. 

            "I don't know. I wish that I had some sort of answers to all that, but…I guess we'll jsut have to wait and see."


	15. Waking Up

AN: Jsut warning you that this chapter really really really times infinity sucks…but I needed to get something out. So, sorries. But I couldn't come up with anything better. The next chapter will be the last one, and will prolly be pretty short…thanks to the help of my splendiferous twin, I gots so many ideas now, that they are going to have to go in the next story. So…yeah. I jsut hope that I will be able to make this ideas come out the way I want them to…wish me luck. 

Thank you very much to all my AWESOME reviewers for the last chapter: **Piper132, Charming Tess, Rogue, Line, Emma, piperperson, Fury Piper, Willow, Charmed Writer P4, Magical Princess, Gitte, pippergurl, Misakichi1, Witch, princesscatie21, Charmed Princess**, and again, **Rogue, line, and Charmed Writer P4**, who were awesomes and reviewed twice! You guys ALL  are the bestest!!!!

Charmed Writer P4: Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much for all of your help last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are twintastic!!!!!!!!!!! And you helped me research and everything…so that I can be totally (6)(6) in the next story!! Mwahahaha…and I'll be able to use all this stuff in BIM two, which is koolies. I wish that you hadn't had to get off…at least you'll have this surprise waiting for you tomorrow. I hope that you feel better, stead of being in my mood…trust me, I know how it feels. Guess I should actually let you read the chapter now…but it really does suck. I know you aren't going to let me get away with saying that, but it does. So there. All right, all right, you can read it now…but don't say I didn't warn you. *megamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamega megamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamega megamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamega megamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamega megamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamega megamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegamegahugz**.*** LYLAL!!!!!!!!!!!! PTTT!!!!!!!!!! And thanks for the twintastic reviews!!!! 

Prue sat next to her sister's bed, clutching Piper's hand. Paige and Phoebe had fallen asleep on the small couch…Prue couldn't really blame them. After their shopping spree, there wasn't really any other way to pass the time until Piper woke up…Prue wished that she could have joined them in sleep. Unfortunately, every time she closed her eyes, all she could see was Piper, the way they had found her before bringing her to the hospital. Even though she now new the Piper was going to be-physically-okay, knowing that only seemed to give Prue permission to worry about her little sister's mental health.

 Because obviously, Piper wasn't okay. And after everything that Piper had gone through, Prue seriously doubted that Piper ever would be okay. How could she? How could someone ever get over all of that baggage? Prue was so lost in her worries, that she didn't notice Piper's hand begin to twitch in hers. Then, glancing down, Prue noticed Piper's eyelids begin to flutter. Piper blinked a few times, obviously finding it hard to focus on her sister's face. 

Piper blinked repeatedly, trying hard to steady her vision. Where was she? What was going on? After a few moments, things began to steady, and Piper glanced around.

"Prue?" she whispered, hoarsely. "What's going on? Why am I…" Piper broke off there, memories flooding to the surface. 

"Oh god." She murmured, choking up. "Oh god." 

Upon hearing her little sister's voice, Prue began to cry. She hadn't thought that she would ever hear that sound again…and right now, in many ways, it was the most beautiful sound in the world. The only problem with it was how pain-filled the voice was…a pain that Prue had no idea how she was going to deal with. She didn't know how to help Piper with this. She didn't know how to help _herself_ with this. She didn't…the tears began falling harder and faster then, and Prue found herself unable to do anything but fall onto her sister, sobbing in both relief and terror. 

Piper shook in Prue's embrace, not knowing what to do. She had done this to herself in part because she wanted to protect her family…and instead she jsut ended up hurting them all more than ever. Nothing she did was right, everything jsut ended up hurting others, it seemed like jsut by breathing she was hurting people! She ought to be dead, since all she could do was all this harm, but even dying would hurt them! 

Suddenly, Piper shuddered violently. This was precisely the thinking that was getting her to hurt everyone so much! And yet…Piper found herself caught in one big endless cycle. It was true, everything she did did seem to hurt everyone…and yet by thinking that, she jsut made it happen even more. But there was no way she could excuse what she had done…moaning, Piper tried desperately to get her mind out of this trap, tried her hardest to pull herself free. She couldn't _do_ this anymore dammit…it wasn't fair to her sisters, and it wasn't fair to herself! 

Not that she cared what happened to herself anymore…those feelings ended a long time ago. Torrents of self-guilt poured down on Piper, and the guilt only made her feel guilty for feeling guilty, since that was what started this all…still whimpering, Piper began to shake, and soon found that she couldn't stop. 

Over an hour later, Piper was still trembling. Prue had one arm wrapped protectively around her on one side, Phoebe was on her other, head on Piper's shoulder. Paige stood in the center of the room, defiantly facing the doctor. 

"There has to be something you can do, something you can give her! She's been like this for over an hour now…pretty much ever since she woke up! Please, there has to be something you can do to help her…" Paige's voice broke, and the doctor looked at them all sympathetically.  

"I'm sorry, but there isn't anything we can give her at the moment. Anything strong enough to stop the tremblings would be too much for Piper's system to handle. It would be more detrimental than it would be useful…it might very well only end up hurting you sister more than she already is." 

"I don't understand." Phoebe whispered. "Why is her body doing this to her? Why can't she stop?" The doctor shook her head.

"Well, I can't say anything for sure, but I have a theory. Piper's been through an extremely traumatic event. You can't go through something like she did without some kind of consequence…" Phoebe closed her eyes, the doctor's words echoing what Prue had said earlier. 

"Being sent into a coma isn't enough of a damn consequence?" Paige muttered, looking away. Dr. Jenningson sighed. 

"Well, it's a different sort of consequence, in this case. I think that right now, waking up to find everything like it is, Piper's mind is not sure what to do to deal. And it's moving so fast, her body can't really keep up with it. I think that her brain is practically misfiring. And all of this increased activity in her mind is doing…strange things to her mind/body connection. I think that's what's causing all of the trembling."

Piper was only dimly aware of her surroundings: of Prue's arm wrapped protectively around her shoulders, of Phoebe's head resting her hers, of Paige's defiance, and the doctors calm replies. She was stuck in a weird netherworld of sorts…no longer completely trapped in her mind, but not fully connected to the outside world either. Though Piper could hear snatches of the conversation between the doctor and her sisters, she did not have enough of a connection to join in, to make comments of her own. She couldn't even cry. She was jsut…stuck, in this hell that her traitorous mind had turned into. Stuck, with no way out. In some ways, Piper was no better off than she had been when she was in a coma. At least then, she was completely in her mind…rather than stuck between her mind and the outside world. And then, there was a way out…if her sisters had pulled the plug, she would have been free. Instead, she was reduced to sitting here shaking, trying desperately to find a something to anchor her to the real world. 

The more time went by, the harder it was for Piper to find that connection, and the harder it was for her to stay aware. In some ways, the feeling she had now was the same as the one she got when she had a really high fever…she could hear everything that was going on around her, but she couldn't really make sense of it. Only snatches of it could really get through to her. And, like when she was delirious, she couldn't sleep…whatever control Piper's brain had over her body seemed to have completely diminished. It couldn't do anything more than shake. And shake. And shake. 


	16. The Spell

AN: Well, after ages and ages of nothing (although not as many ages as before I finally updated BIM) I have something for you. The last chapter of OHDH. Not sure when the next story in the series is coming out…hopefully not two long. But I wanna finish BIM two, so…yeah. Thanks to all of my wonderful reviewers: **Rogue, Fin, Line100, misakichi1, Magical Princess, line, Francesca, Shane, Charmed Writer P4 (twin!), Mela, valkryiepiper, pippergurl, Susan, iheartgreenday, chub, Lady Piper1, Revul Ylloh and Fury Piper.**

Charmed Writer: Hey Alex…here is the last and final chapter of OHDH…hehe, I am evil. But you agreed that it was better to end it this way, so…I guess that means I need to get the sequel out there quickly. Cept I'm not sure if I know the meaning of that word anymore…not since Trust. Well, anywho, here is the last chap…dedicated to you, as usual! 

Words. So many damn words. Prue glared at the pages of the pages of the BOS, watching all of the little letters that formed words that formed meaningless phrases blur together as her eyes filled with tears. She had been looking through the book for hours upon hours, and…nothing. Not a single damn thing that would help her sister get better. Heaving a long, shuddering sigh, Prue slammed the book shut and shoved back her chair. This wasn't fair. Piper was the most loving, caring, giving, fantastic person Prue had ever met. She shouldn't be going through this. 

            At the moment, Piper was up in her room, asleep. The doctor had given them sleeping pills when Piper left the hospital, advising the sisters to have Piper use them when needed. Since Piper still couldn't stop shaking when she was awake, "needed" was most of the time. So, Piper had been spending almost all of her time in a drugged slumber, blocking out the world. Prue longed to find something to help her little sister, anything to help her little sister. She jsut didn't know what. 

            Jsut then, Phoebe walked into the kitchen, obviously exhausted. She sank into the chair that Prue had jsut vacated, and put her head in her hands. 

            "She's having nightmares again Prue." Phoebe said softly. "I know she is, you can tell from the way she sleeps. The pills are supposed to stop that…instead they're jsut preventing her from waking up from them. I don't know what to do. I can't wake her up, she's too deeply asleep, and it's not possible. But…I can't stand jsut leaving her there like that. She's in pain Prue…why isn't there some way to help her?" Phoebe's voice broke at the last, and Prue came over to wrap her arms around her baby sister. 

            "Shhhhhhhhh…" She whispered softly. "We'll find something…we have to. We have to." 

            Prue and Phoebe were stilled huddled like that a few minutes later when Paige came trotting down the stairs, a look of determination in her eyes. Prue looked up as Paige entered, wiping the tears from her eyes.

            "Paige?" She inquired, "if you're down here, then Who is with Piper?" 

            "She'll jsut be alone for a few seconds. Besides, she seems to be sleeping peacefully now. Whatever nightmare she was having ended." Prue nodded slowly, still looking apprehensive. 

            "Still…" she said, voice trailing off. 

            "I know." Paige said. "But…I think I may have found something to help her." Prue glanced at Paige more sharply then, and Phoebe lifted her head from the table, where she had been trying to get herself under control. 

            "Something?" Phoebe sniffed, wiping her eyes. "What do you mean, something?" Paige reached into her pocket and pulled out an old, crinkled piece of paper. 

            "I was meditating while staying with Piper, and suddenly I got a really strong feeling that I needed to look in her closet. I went in, and this one floorboard in there was…I don't know how to say it, but…glowing, almost. Except I know that it wouldn't have been visible to anyone else…yeah. It was confusing. Anyway, it turns out that floorboard was loose. Inside, there was this box thing, and inside the box, was this. Some other things were in there two, but this was the only one that was doing that glowing thing. I read it and…I think it's a spell. And it might be the one to solve all our problems." Prue raised her eyebrows, looking confused.

            "A spell?" She asked. "To fix all of this? Jsut sitting in Piper's floorboards?" 

            "Well, you said that Piper went through something like this before, right? Maybe Grams wrote a spell to help her out of it, after she…you know."

            "Then why would it be in Piper's floorboards? Wouldn't she have put it in the Book?" Paige sighed, frustrated.

            "I don't know! Maybe it had to be in Piper's vicinity or something to work, I don't know. All I know is that I think it might be able to help her now." Prue tried to smile at her, feeling bad for all of her earlier criticism. 

            "I'm sorry." She said. "I don't mean to be so hard on you about this. I'm jsut…" Prue stopped, at a loss for words. Paige nodded however, and squeezed her arm.

            "Yeah, I know." Passing the piece of paper over to Prue, she smiled herself. "There, you can read it if you want. Maybe it won't work, maybe I'm way off base here, but…it seems worth a shot." As Prue read the spell, her expression grew more and more confused. 

            "What's wrong?" Paige inquired nervously. Prue glanced up, shaking her head to clear it.

            "Grams didn't write this." She said. "Piper did."

            Paige stared at Prue, dumbfounded. 

            "But…that isn't Piper's handwriting. And it's so old…it must have been in there for years…" Prue nodded.

            "Probably around fourteen or fifteen. And, no, it's not what Piper's handwriting looks like now…but it is what it looked like when she was younger."

            "B-but…" Paige stuttered, not understanding. "But I thought you guys didn't get your powers until a few years ago. Piper wouldn't have had them then, so how could she have written a spell?" 

            "It's not a spell." Prue replied. "It's a poem. She wrote a lot of them then…I think it was her way of dealing. She'd never talk about it really, didn't want to worry or upset us, but she had to have some way of letting it all out. This was hers." Paige sighed, deflated.

            "So then it's not a spell, and we can't use it to help her. And we're back to square one." Prue sighed as well, hating to admit defeat as much as Paige.

            "Wait a sec." Phoebe said, who, up until this point, had only been observing rather than taking part in the conversation. "This may not be a spell but…Piper still had her powers in there when she wrote this, they jsut weren't accessible to her. So she was a witch. And…it certainly does come from the heart. So why couldn't we use it as a spell? It might actually work…and it's certainly better than anything we have going right now."

            "If we could jsut write a spell to heal her, we could have done that a long time ago." Paige said. "But if this had really been a spell from Grams…well, she knew more than we do, so maybe she would have known enough to make it work. As it is…"

            "As it is, this may be even better than a spell from Grams." Phoebe broke in. "Maybe the reason none of our spells are working is because we can't heal her. Maybe she needs to heal herself." 

            "And this 'spell' written by her…" Paige began,

            "Would do jsut that." Prue breathed. Phoebe nodded solemnly, watching the growing smiles on her sisters' faces. 

            "What do you say?" She asked, smiling at them. "Should we go give this a shot?" 

            A few moments later the three of them assembled in Piper's room, standing in a circle around her bed. After lighting a few candles, they looked at each other and began to chant. 

She stands alone pain deep inside

Please do not let heartache abide

Remove it now leave her in peace

And let her memories of it cease.

            Prue, Paige, and Phoebe chanted this three times successively, before a sudden wind blew open the window and put out the candles. They jumped nervously, then glanced at each other. 

            "You think it worked?" Paige asked, biting her lip. Phoebe shrugged, fiddling with her fingers.

            "The dose of pills we gave her will last her through the night. I don't think that we'll find out until the morning." Paige snorted, still chewing on her lip.

            "How are we supposed to wait that long?" Prue smiled at her wryly.

            "With lots and lots of coffee. Come one. I'll make the first batch." Gripping hands, the three of them headed downstairs. 


End file.
